This is part 3 of learning how being curious can save your relationships.
Remember the old wives’ tale curiosity killed the cat, but in this case curiosity leads to a better understanding of self and can save the relationship. Being curious can lead to 5 distinct levels of awareness and with each level there is an increase in conscious behavior. The more conscious you become the easier it is to have relationships that are satisfying and easier to recognize what is making some relationships difficult. You will experience yourself at different levels of awareness depending up the issue. Listed below are the 5 levels of awareness you could experience by practicing being curious.
- You are not aware of your inner dialog. You are aware that your life is not working for you. You are feeling really stuck and it takes a long time to feel better about yourself and you have no clue how the change occurred.
- You decide to listen to your self- talk and you reject what you are hearing, “That isn’t me talking”. You are feeling stuck again. It takes a long time before you feel better about yourself and you collect one possible clue for feeling better.
- You encourage yourself to tune in again and listen to what you are saying to yourself. “Oh, my goodness! I sound just like (insert name) or I feel just like I did when I was kid. “ You notice that you are feeling better about yourself rather than feeling stuck. The good feeling stays a little longer and you collect another clue. You think maybe this curiosity thing works after all.
- You decide there’s something to tuning in to your inner dialog and you decide to listen every day. You begin to notice that your thinking is clearer. The good feeling stays longer and you now connect two dots.
- You decide to change the inner dialog channel. You become aware that other scenarios are possible by deciding to move your attention from the familiar thoughts to new thoughts. You discover this when you connect the dots and a picture begins to develop. You become aware that you are doing all of your own thinking, feeling and behaving. Nobody makes you feel, think or do. You are more aware and feeling alive rather than following an old script that you wrote a long time ago. You now know you have a choice! You can write a new story that fits who are you now.