The REAL Reason Women Want To See 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'

By

The REAL Reason Women Want To See 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'
Fifty Shades Of Grey offers some real life ideas for the bedroom that have nothing to do with BDSM.

Fifty Shades of Grey—the runaway, international bestseller—is set for theatrical release on Valentine's Day, and I think it's safe to say that it will own the weekend for box office receipts. And whether you loved the books or think they are the biggest waste of time, anyone and everyone who wants to please their partner needs to be paying attention. It doesn't matter whether the movie is a true-to-life portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle. And putting aside the control issues (including the infamous "tampon removal scene" that demonstrated how much control Christian Grey had over Anastasia, which will not be included in the film), What makes Fifty Shades different and special is how the sex and interpersonal dynamics between the two main characters taps into women's psyches. It showcases two things that so many women are yearning for from the men in their lives: passion and desire.

The millions of women who have purchased the series are seeking not just a love story. They are looking to connect with a story that portrays unbridled wanting—perhaps with a side order of dominant and submissive sex. For many women, it's primal to want a man who is overcome with an unquenchable need to have her, with passion so hot it could boil rain as it falls. Most heterosexual women want to be afforded pleasure at the hands of a man who is both capable and confident; a man who is so secure in his own self and sexuality that he gives her as much pleasure as she can stand, while finding pleasure in it himself. But perhaps most importantly, women want this dynamic to stay in the bedroom without the issues of control and dominance spilling out into real life—altering the genuine, respectful love that is equally important.

 

 

If the book's sales numbers are an accurate gauge (as I'm sure they are, as well as the coming ticket sales for the movie opening on February 14th), it's crystal clear that millions of women want to "let go": To trust, to release, to just be women (as opposed to "moms" or "wives"). They want to be sexual, sensual and feminine; to be trusting and hand control over to a partner who will not use it against her later. Many men think that it's Christan Grey's wealth that captivates Anastasia. I'm sure that helps, but a rich, weak man wouldn't have the allure that Christian has. What women do want is a man who is confident, charming, alluring, captivating, mysterious and bad... all the while caring deeply for her integrity. (Note that none of those characteristics have to do with his bank account). He wants her, he takes her, but he respects her. It is precisely these qualities that more men need to embrace: the ability to be strong yet soft... to create an environment where a woman can release, let go, and not worry about any "repercussions" or the dynamics shifting in their relationship outside the bedroom. Is everyone into dominance and submission? Of course not. But that's not the point. The point is that these are the traits women want from the men in their lives — and men should be listening.

For some men, there are two types of foreplay: being touched and the anticipation of being touched. What these guys don't seem to realize is that their version of foreplay is in direct opposition to a woman's largest erogenous zone: her mind. There's no substitute for mental stimulation and intelligent discussion as foreplay. (Well, mostly. For some women, foreplay begins when he puts the dishes away or takes out the trash without being asked... but I digress.)

Bottom line: If a man wants a woman to let go and trust him in the bedroom, he needs to make it safe. He needs to seduce her. He needs to want her. He needs to show her his desire.

Want real talk on relationships and love? Follow Charles and his 1.6M Fans on Facebook

This article was originally published at Charles J. Orlando. Reprinted with permission.

More Fifty Shades Of Grey Movie news on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Charles J. Orlando

Author

You can also follow me on:

http://www.facebook.com/theproblemismen

http://twitter.com/charlesjorlando

Email: advice@charlesjorlando.com

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Charles J. Orlando:

This Is The REAL Reason Your Relationship Sucks (Hint: YOU Suck)

By

I receive hundreds of messages every week from men and women who are unhappy in their current relationships. They want to understand their issues and their partner's role in things, even if it means they just spin and spin on unproven "facts" and suffer from analysis paralysis, unable to decide what to do, where to start, and whether they should ... Read more

10 Tell-Tale Signs He's Cheating On You

By

He's acting ... differently, but you just can't put your finger on why. Then, his cell phone rings in the middle of the night and he doesn't have a good explanation. Is he cheating or is he just going through a rough time? We've all heard the "he blames you for cheating" and "his cell phone has a password on it" ... Read more

Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison

By

"Honey, I have to join Ashley Madison." So began the pitch I gave my wife to let me join the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website AshleyMadison.com. It would be part of my research into women who cheat, why infidelity is increasing, and what can be done to possibly affair-proof a marriage. I proposed to "cheat" on her for a few weeks, to ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular