Relationship Kryptonite: The Saturday Guy

By

Relationship Kryptonite: The Saturday Guy

Most men, in an effort to show their best side and woo a love interest—go above and beyond in their efforts to listen, please, and participate. In the beginning, there are literally no-holds-barred when it comes to romance, cash, and availability. But once they have put in the initial effort and their needs start being met, many men change their behavior and stop putting in the same about of effort—oftentimes providing the bare minimum required. This ends up leaving women wondering what the hell happened, and why he is putting in less and less (as she started putting more into the relationship to compensate). Nowhere is this more glaring than on weekends.

If a man works all week, most often he looks his best Monday through Friday — shaven, pressed, combed, and spritzed with pleasant scents. And if Friday brings date night, that effort might stay at the forefront. But then, inexplicably, a transformation happens sometime between late Friday night and Saturday morning.

Enter: the Saturday Guy. Hair unkempt, unshaven, shorts, tank top, flip-flops, without a care in the world.

Truth be told, I’ve been found by my wife in this dilapidated condition more times than I care to remember. After a long week of work, commuting, and with a mind full of the NEXT week’s work to come, I just want to zone, chill out on the couch, and let cable TV wash over me. I’m just trying to unwind. Weekends are for relaxing, right? Of course! But in reflecting, it’s not right to give the outside world my best, and leave the crumbs for my family. With a gentle reminder from her, I become aware of my physical state and, summoning what’s left of my pride after being caught, I shuffle off to make myself presentable before our kids are fully conscious of my deplorable condition.

But the Saturday Guy doesn’t always listen. He is stubborn, and can stay around for a while, passive-aggressively promising to do what’s needed (for his family/significant other, for the house). But before long, Saturday morning is gone and 4:00 PM rolls around. Then, this situation is further compounded when “the Phone Call” comes in Saturday evening.

After giving their best to others all week, some men will put in zero effort all day Saturday, dead to the world, complaining that they are tired, run-down after a long week, just wanting to relax... which may, if fact, be true... but then... the Phone Call. It’s the guys, and it’s Saturday night — time to go out/play poker/get a cocktail/hit the club. Miraculously, this tired, run-down man is cured, and he levitates off the couch with vigor, is showered, shaved, and shining by the door, kissing his loved ones as he exits for a night of further unwinding. (And is his wife left to “relax” at home with the kids?)

This is a long-held double standard that challenges relationships. Whether dating or married, the Saturday Guy doesn’t have a place anymore. Sure, relaxing on the weekends is part of what rejuvenates us, resetting us for the coming week. But when the Saturday Guy prevails and leaves those around him without the man they love, something should change. (Besides, if he does go out with the guys Saturday night, we haven’t even discussed the aftermath: the Sunday Guy with a Hangover.)

(And yes... there are most CERTAINLY women who exhibit these Saturday qualities, too... but that is the subject for a different article.) 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Charles J. Orlando

Author

You can also follow me on:

http://www.facebook.com/theproblemismen

http://twitter.com/charlesjorlando

Email: advice@theproblemismen.com

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Charles J. Orlando:

The 4 Stages of Getting Back Together

By

Relationships are always easy — in the beginning. Both people are on their best behavior. They wear their fanciest clothes, are polite and put in boat-loads of love and effort. But sometimes, despite the initial euphoria and all those promises made, things don't go the way they were planned. Wants and needs change, life gets in the way, communication ... Read more

11 Lessons For My Graduating Son

By

Tomorrow you are graduating from high school and preparing to move on to what's next. It is a surreal moment for me, both as a parent and as a man. In watching you over these last 18 years, I have seen clearly that you have accomplished so much: as a young man, as an actor and as a human being. Your efforts and grades reflect your unwavering dedication to ... Read more

Ask An Expert: Why Did He Stop Texting Me?

By

Dear Charles: I went on a first date with a guy and I thought it went well. He texted me about an hour later and asked if we could get together again and I said I'd like that. We playfully chatted via text for a few hours that same day. It's a week later, and I haven't heard a thing from him. Why did he ask for a second date and not set anything ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB