4 Secrets to Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage

By

4 Secrets to Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage
Keep the energy, passion, and newness in your relationship and avoid divorce dangers.

The notion that marriage is a temporary institution isn't new. Sociologist and futurist Alvin Toffler wrote the best-seller Future Shock in 1970, and with matter-of-fact conviction, he wrote of the rising trend of "trial" or "temporary marriages"—first marriages of young people, lasting three months to three years, and of "serial marriages" that would take place after the dissolution of the "trial marriage," happening at specific turning points in people's lives. Toffler's views hold true today. Having accurately predicted the coming trends, he could see how men and women would begin to view marriage as a temporary state of being, and today the divorce rate still hovers at just over 50 percent. But that "50%" data point is just common data point. Here's the truth (from the US Census and the Association of Divorce Reform):

• 19.5 million adults have been divorced at least once.
• 50% of all marriages end in divorce within five years.
• Of the couples that last five years, only 50% make it to their 10th wedding anniversary (That's a 75% divorce rate before the 10th anniversary)
• Over 80% of divorcees reference “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for separation.

 

Here's something to consider: If you've been married for a few years, you might have a child (or two). So, how the rising divorce rate affecting kids? Is it providing the quintessential example for children of just how temporary marriage—and all relationships—can be. Divorced) homes account for:

• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homeless/runaway children
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school dropouts
• 85% of youths in prison
• Over 50% of teen mothers

So, not only are the adults in these relationships causing themselves heartache and emotional turmoil, but they are potentially perpetuating the problem and showing their children—by example—precisely what a temporary relationship looks like. Not a pretty picture for our up-and-coming generations.


What Can Be Done
Obviously, there isn't a magic bullet to "cure" these relationships issues. There are, however, things that people might consider to avoid disconnecting and divorcing:

1. Be ready before tying the knot. Why get into a committed relationship unless you're ready? There is no Cardinal Rule stating that people must get married by X date—or at all! Before taking the leap, it's not only important to know your partner, it's perhaps even more important to know yourself—who you are, and where you're going. After you know those two things, who will go with you is a choice, not a forced decision. And don't let anyone pressure you into committing before you're ready... including yourself.

Next: Don't give up your individuality...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Charles J. Orlando

Author

You can also follow me on:

http://www.facebook.com/theproblemismen

http://twitter.com/charlesjorlando

Email: advice@charlesjorlando.com

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Charles J. Orlando:

This Is The REAL Reason Your Relationship Sucks (Hint: YOU Suck)

By

I receive hundreds of messages every week from men and women who are unhappy in their current relationships. They want to understand their issues and their partner's role in things, even if it means they just spin and spin on unproven "facts" and suffer from analysis paralysis, unable to decide what to do, where to start, and whether they should ... Read more

10 Tell-Tale Signs He's Cheating On You

By

He's acting ... differently, but you just can't put your finger on why. Then, his cell phone rings in the middle of the night and he doesn't have a good explanation. Is he cheating or is he just going through a rough time? We've all heard the "he blames you for cheating" and "his cell phone has a password on it" ... Read more

Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison

By

"Honey, I have to join Ashley Madison." So began the pitch I gave my wife to let me join the marrieds-looking-for-affairs website AshleyMadison.com. It would be part of my research into women who cheat, why infidelity is increasing, and what can be done to possibly affair-proof a marriage. I proposed to "cheat" on her for a few weeks, to ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular