It can be very difficult when you know you would both benefit from counseling, but your spouse or partner refuses to give it a try. Perhaps you have been trying to work out your differences for a while now and you're not really sure what else you can do. Most of our clients are dedicated to doing anything necessary to improve their relationship and to keep it going in a healthy direction. However, when your spouse or partner refuses to take the steps to fight for your relationship alongside you, it can leave you feeling defeated and very alone.
There are a few things you can do if you find yourself facing this problem. Taking these steps can strengthen your relationship, as well as give you peace of mind that not all hope is lost.
1. Try To Understand Where Your Partner Is Coming From.
You are absolutely certain in your heart that counseling would help your relationship. However, whenever you bring it up, you are met with an array of excuses. Many people suffer from denial when their relationships are struggling, so it's not uncommon for your significant other to be on the defensive. You may have heard comments like:
"Our problems really aren't that bad."
"We can't afford to go to counseling."
"I don't need a stranger to tell me how to fix my marriage/relationship."
Do any of these sound familiar? They're all natural responses. It can be difficult to admit that you have a problem that you're not capable of fixing yourself, especially when it's a relationship problem.
Try to find a time when your significant other is in a good mood. Ask if you can discuss how they feel about your relationship, and what they feel the problems are. Most of all, focus on listening to the other person, and avoid interjecting your own feelings and desires. Help after your talk.
2. Don't Be Afraid To Come Alone.
While you might be able to persuade your partner or spouse that counseling is a good idea, you shouldn't count on it. It is possible that he or she will still not want to pursue counseling. In that case, you shouldn't be afraid to seek out help on your own. Here at Relationship Center of Orange County, we offer "Couple's Counseling for One." Your counselor is accustomed to designing a treatment plan for an individual, and you'll find that you're able to begin working on yourself, even if your spouse or partner isn't involved. W've helped many relationships improve because we focus on helping you identify the things that are best for your relationship as a whole.
Ideally, all of our clients would love it if their partners joined them for counseling. However, it doesn't always work out that way. Even so, there are things you can do to make your relationship better. You deserve the absolute best, and by being brave, and taking the first step, you can be well on your way to a healthy, satisfying relationship — for both of you.
If you feel that a counselor would help your relationship, please consider the Relationship Center of Orange County "Couples Counseling for One." Our trained therapists can help you find ways to make yourself happier and your relationship better. So if you are tired of the way things are — and tired of trying to get your mate to counseling — then please call us today at 949-220-3211 or schedule your appointment online.
This article was originally published at Relationship Center of Orange County
. Reprinted with permission from the author.