How Selfish (and Narcissistic) Are You?


How Selfish (and Narcissistic) Are You?
Take this test to find out how selfish you are, and learn how to be more loving.

If narcissism were a disease, it would be considered a pandemic.

Our culture not only condones selfishness, but celebrates it as a virtue. Materialism, driven by corporate interests and advertising, reinforces the focus on accumulation for self. The media is suffused with a focus on individual success, beauty, celebrity, fame, and status. The rugged individual is held up as a model of excellence, alongside the ultra-rich CEO, the celebrity sports figure, the bad-boy artist, and the soldier of fortune. Even the online culture supports our need to be “friended,” noticed, and popular. Public narcissism is the latest result of our self-focused social structure.


Both men and women are selfish, but in general, men are more deeply programmed to look out for #1, to get their own needs met, and to do whatever it takes to get ahead. It’s more difficult for males to climb out of this deep self-hole and finally grow up into truly loving, caring human beings.

Women, on the other hand, have traditionally been programmed to care for, and care about, others. As a generality, they learn early to be collaborative and generous to others (sometimes to their detriment). In the extreme, they may bend themselves around another person’s needs, becoming codependent or self-sacrificing.

Where are you on the Narcissism Spectrum?  Measure yourself from 1 to 7 on each of these parameters. Ask yourself: “How much time and attention do I spend on either side of this range?”  Circle the number that is closest to where you function most of the time.


Thinking about Myself                      1…2…3…4…5…6…7      Thinking about Others

Caring for My Needs and Desires    1…2…3…4…5…6…7      Caring for Others’ Needs and Desires

Seeking Approval and Admiration    1…2…3…4…5…6…7      Admiring and Praising Others

Feeling Superior to Others               1…2…3…4…5…6…7     Celebrating Others’ Accomplishments

Treating Others as Objects              1…2…3…4…5…6…7     Treating Others as Sacred Beings

Being Right & Proving I’m Right      1…2…3…4…5…6…7      Learning from Others

Doing What I Want To Do                1…2…3…4…5…6…7      Doing What Others Want To Do

[Test Continues on Page 2 -->]

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Carista Luminare, Ph.D. & Lion Goodman

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Carista and Lion


Carista Luminare, Ph.D.   &   Lion Goodman



Location: San Rafael, CA
Credentials: PhD
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