7 Times It's Totally OK To Ghost Someone
There are exceptions for ghosting, believe it.
shutterstock We have all had those moments when we’re stuck between not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings but also not wanting to lead them on. Ghosting isn’t a new concept, although in the modern dating world, it’s becoming increasingly common.
So, what is ghosting?
Ghosting can be defined in many different ways depending on who is defining it. In broad terms, ghosting is the sudden act of cutting off all ties and communication with someone you’re dating or in a relationship with. Ghosting can actually happen with friendships, too.
Basically, ghosting is cutting someone off completely without explanation. It’s literally as if they disappeared into thin air.
Personally, I don’t think ghosting is appropriate. I believe that people should be mature enough to discuss things or communicate with one another to be on the same page.
But there may also be exceptions to the rule, there may be times when ghosting is OK.
Here are 7 times when it's OK to ghost someone:
1. You've never met in real life.
If you have never met in person, there really is no obligation on your part to communicate that you’re not feeling it or that you don’t think a friendship is going to work out.
Usually, there hasn’t been a lot of time and effort invested if you haven’t met in person, so why go through that drama?
2. Disaster strikes on the first date.
If your first date or meet-up with someone is total chaos, feel free to move along without letting the other person know.
If the other person is wondering what happened when the time spent together was disastrous or chaotic, that person may need to reevaluate their judgment and perceptions.
3. They’re creepy, abusive or inappropriate.
Most of us have had an experience where a person turns out to be someone totally different from the person you first met.
They may obsessively message you or show up at random places you never told them about. Run. You do not owe this person an explanation. That person needs to have a reality check and that’s not your job.
4. You caught the person in a lie.
Let’s be real here. If a person has the nerve to lie, they don’t deserve an explanation as to why you suddenly stopped talking to them. Period.
5. You have a weird or negative gut feeling about them.
We all need to use our gut and intuition more because it would save us a lot of drama and headaches.
If there’s something off about the person’s vibe or energy, trust yourself and book it. Obviously, the person did or said something that didn’t sit right with you.
If they are that unaware of what they say or do, they should be just fine without an explanation as to why you ghosted them.
6. They meet your deal-breakers.
Many people have certain things they absolutely will not accept or consider the ultimate deal-breaker. If a person reaches a point where they have met your deal-breaker, chances are there are more skeletons in the closet.
7. You don’t know where things stand.
If a person is unwilling to discuss where things are in terms of the relationship or friendship, you're free to do as you please. You don't owe that person a thing.
If the person avoids the topic or simply ignores it when you bring it up, they simply do not deserve an explanation or discussion as to why you’re about to be a ghost.
While ghosting someone is a bit immature, there are exceptions.
If a person isn’t willing to give you the honesty and respect you deserve, why should they get that from you?
If things just aren’t working out or you’re just not feeling it, and the person is a decent human being, they deserve a discussion as to why things aren’t working out or why you’re not feeling it.
Trust your gut and intuition. If someone says or does something that sits wrong in your stomach, more likely than not that person has more up their sleeves that won’t sit right with you.
As with many situations and problems in the world, there are exceptions to the rules. There are times when you do not need to feel bad or justify why you ghosted someone.
The reasons above will only save you time and energy you could be spending on something more meaningful.
Brittney Lindstrom is a licensed professional counselor and certified rehabilitation counselor.