Gay & Single on Valentine's Day--8 Holiday Survival Strategies


Gay & Single on Valentine's Day--8 Holiday Survival Strategies
How to take charge of your single life and overcome the Valentine's Day Blues


For those singles unhappy with their relationship status, Valentine's Day can represent a sense of foreboding and dread as it highlights all the things they wish they had in their lives. Everywhere they look it seems like there is a happy couple on every street corner, and it seems inescapable to walk into a store without some image or product associated with the holiday being shoved in one's face to reinforce the value of love and relationships.


However, I am here to tell you to stop the madness! Don't let this particular day dampen your spirits or cause you to feel depressed! As you know, Valentine's Day has become very commercialized and contributes to the stigmatization of being single-if you let it! Never forget that being single is an opportunity and an outright valid choice by many. Our society puts considerable pressure on us to become partnered and can cause one to feel minimized, left out, and "less than". Not true! Recognize the power and growth potential that the single lifestyle affords you and embrace the fact that Valentine's Day is just that-a day like any other day that's intended for you to live it to the maximum and keep striving toward your dreams and goals.

But at the same time, it does seem near impossible to shield oneself from the hoopla that the media places on Valentine's Day. And if you are struggling with trying to reconcile with your single status, it can be a difficult day if you allow it to define how you feel. So what follows is a list of tips and activities that you can try on for size to help you overcome "The Valentine's Day Blues". They're not earth-shattering ideas, particularly if you don't feel that there would be any viable substitute for having a hot guy on your arm for the evening, but they just might be a catalyst to help you take some positive actions that might help you achieve a renewed sense of spirit and perspective.


No date on Valentine's Day? No problem! Try one of these action strategies and you just might realize that flying solo this year provides you with more benefits than having a date could have. The day could be a lot more rewarding than you think!

8. Take yourself out on a date and experience the ultimate in blissful self-care.

Give yourself permission to treat yourself well today. Pamper yourself and do something that will help you achieve a sense of relaxation and rejuvenation. Visit a spa, get a massage, soak in a hot tub, send yourself some flowers, read a good book, go to a movie or play, go shopping, etc. Know your unique strategies for self-nurturance that will soothe you and partake in them. Indulge responsibly and guilt-free. You work hard and you deserve this pleasure!

7. Enjoy a night on the town.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Break out of the doldrums and get out there! Get dressed up to the nines and mix and mingle. Whether you go to a club or a single's event, you'll feel energized by doing something active and entertaining. By creating a bit of adventure, you're adding a bit of spice to your life that will give you a sense of invigoration and enrichment.

6. Reach out to your support system.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Brian Rzepczynski


Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, Licensed Relationship Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating, relationship, and sexual enrichment tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit

Location: Aurora, IL
Credentials: LCSW, MSW, Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Gay/Lesbian/Identity Issues, Sex Therapy
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