Women aren’t like cars. There’s no switch to turn them on. Try harder.
When it comes to sexual arousal, men and women are quite different from one another. For men, all it takes is seeing something that even resembles breasts and their libido is bouncing and ready for sex. Women, on the other hand ... well, it takes more than a quick glance or playful gesture to get them going.
Whether you're new to the game or you just want to add some spice to your current routine, these tips can help you get your lady revved up and ready to go:
1. Let her know how GORGEOUS she really is.
You know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you find out that someone thinks you're attractive? That's what you want to create for her. The fact that you think she's pretty is a significant turn-on for her.
To get your message across without going overboard, say things like "Hey, pretty lady" or "Hello, beautiful" when you greet her. It's simple, short ... but direct. Genuinely complimenting her on an outfit, hairstyle or physical feature such as her eyes is also helpful.
2. Hold her hand.
Whether you’re crossing the street or cuddling on the couch, women love when their guy holds their hand. This may sound simple, but it can send a rush of pleasure throughout her entire body. Consider it a G-rated turn on.
3. Boost her adrenaline.
Exciting, adrenaline-producing activities make us hyper-aware — our breathing quickens, our heart races, and guess what? Those are all feelings associated with sexual arousal.
Studies have found that couples who do exciting things together experience greater overall relationship quality — another critical requirement for turning her on. Instead of opting for a dinner and movie date, take her to an amusement park, strap yourselves to a zip-line or go bungee jumping.
4. Dim the lights.
Maybe you find it romantic, or perhaps it’s easy on the eyes, but the number one reason why so many women prefer dim lighting has little to do with pleasure and more to do with self-confidence. Since SO many women are concerned with the appearance of their naked bodies, being in a darker room really can help them to feel more comfortable and confident.
To help her relax, lower the lights and let her know how beautiful she looks.
5. Whisper in her ear.
For women, anticipating sex can be JUST as exciting as the actual event. To get her all hot and bothered, whisper sweet nothings in her ear. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of the grocery store or at a social gathering, the light pressure of your breath will feel good and send her shivers of pleasure.
Let her know that you’ve been thinking about her, or even the things you’d like to do when you get home — both will get her in the mood in no time.
6. Go on a sex strike.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and believe it or not, abstinence can make her really horny. "Reset" her desire by (playfully) denying her the pleasure she longs for — orally, manually, intercourse and even masturbation. If done correctly, this can help you both rediscover the thrill of the chase.
Don’t forget to tease each other to see who caves first. Once things do get steamy, consider having a bed-in together and spend an ENTIRE day between the sheets.
7. Hug her like you MEAN it.
Good kissing tops most women's lists of turn ons, but don't underestimate the heating power of a great hug, especially when you initiate it. Once you have her in your arms squeeze slightly (but not too tightly), and make it clear you don't want the hug to end.
8. Surprise her with some sweet notes.
Flowers sent to the office are nice, but sometimes they're also overdone. If you want to stand out, send a note instead. The thoughtful things you do at non-sexual times make a woman think more about you. Make a list of all the reasons you appreciate her or the things you've never thanked her for.
An appreciated woman during the day is an appreciative woman at night.
9. Smell good, ALWAYS.
There are few things that are a bigger turn on than a well-groomed man. To get her going, be sure that you’re showered, shaven, have fresh breath and clean clothes. Don’t forget to apply your favorite scent before seeing her and make a mental note of the smells she really seems to like.
But remember ... as important as smelling good is, it’s equally as important to not to drown yourself in cologne. You want to make her horny, not give her a headache.
10. Touch her.
Humans are highly sexual animals, so touching her will not only communicate that you’re interested, but it can also send her body the signals that you're interested in taking things further.
To get started, graze the small of her back with your hand or brush arms when you pass by one another. Depending on where you stand with her, you can also play with her hair or offer a back massage (if she likes them). Not to state the obvious, but getting physically close is a great way to turn her on.
11. Talk about what turns you (and her) on.
Instead of guessing what gets her going, openly talk to one another about it. Sharing fantasies can be awkward at first, but if you can get the conversation on a comfortable note she should be sharing her turn ons in no time.
Make note not only of the things she likes, but those she doesn’t like too. A "yes, no, maybe" list for the bedroom can be helpful (and fun), especially when you include the things that the two of you want to try together.
12. Talk about your best memories together.
For a happy ending, remember the details of your first meeting — where you were, what she was wearing, what you said, and how you felt. Recount them often and she'll be aroused and ready to turn up the heat.