Do You Feel Like Having An Orgasm Is Next To Impossible?


Do You Feel Like Having An Orgasm Is Next To Impossible?

We, as females, are all so busy doing a million things in a day: running around; driving in traffic; taking kids to school, sports, and activities; shopping; cooking; career; family; and everything else you are doing. All of these things keep us in our head and disconnected from our body. Unfortunately, that is NOT a good thing when it comes to sex and intimacy.

Being in your head blocks the ability to orgasm easy and effortlessly. Along with that, add some anti-depressants to the mix and it’s nearly impossible. So, what’s a girl to do? “I just can’t get into it, so I make sure he’s taken care of and then what? He’s relieved and feeling fine and yes, I’m pissed and frustrated.”


Has this ever happened to you?

You were intimately involved with your partner and you didn’t climax. The lack of ability to orgasm is frustrating and embarrassing for women and men alike, yet it is not at all uncommon.

According to one study, only 30% of women are able to experience orgasm. If you are one of the 70%, you are not alone and you are not doing yourself any favors by faking it. So, take a deep breath and think about this little tidbit, “It is every woman’s birthright to feel ultimate pleasure during intimacy.” Why do you think we yell “oh God” during orgasm and intense pleasure if it wasn’t a divine gift? There are some things you can do to really allow yourself to relax and get ready to have an amazing orgasm. However, there are some things you need to get rid of first:

  • The feelings of hopelessness that you cannot achieve orgasm.
  • The idea that something is wrong with you, your partner, and/or your relationship.
  • Negative self-talk around this issue. Notice what else comes up in your thoughts that may be contributing to your dilemma.
  • Bad-mouthing yourself into climax will further the problem.

If you fall in love with yourself instead of self-deprecating, blaming, and shaming yourself, you will be quite surprised at the possibilities waiting for you!

Here are 4 tips and steps to the first of many wonderful “Os”!

1. Relax. Did you know it takes 30 minutes for the female brain to shift from its masculine work force energy into a relaxed receiving feminine role? Most women don’t ever get these 30 minutes. They leave work, get in the car, rush home, or to the gym, or to the store. Get home, make dinner, clean up, tend to whomever, and then try to get intimate. No wonder we’re not “in the mood.”

If you want to better your sex life and your relationship, give yourself those scientifically studied 30 minutes needed to relax. Try taking a bath, meditating, doing yoga, resting, or reading something juicy. You will then find yourself in your feminine receiving role, and your orgasm will come much more easily.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bonnie Gayle

Sex Educator

Bonnie Gayle

SexButter... Smile Bigger!

Come see me at Sex Butter blog

Location: Beverly Hills, CA
Credentials: Other
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