When a man meets this kind of woman he may be attracted initially, but after figuring out that she is a project (one he doesn't care to take on), he will soon disappear. Your phone won't ring after the first or second date because if you're not keen on yourself, a good man takes that as a signal to run.
It makes sense. Think about how you judge a man as a good potential mate.
On the list of what you're looking for in a man (c'mom...I know you have a list!) I bet "confidence" is way up there on the top. It's human nature to be attracted to people who seem to truly like themselves. They make us feel safe and, heck, if they clearly know they are worthy of attention and admiration, we go along for the ride until we learn otherwise.
Confidence tops the list of both women and men when they describe what turns them on about the opposite sex. When men are asked what qualities most attract them to a woman as a partner (not just a playmate), confidence and authenticity are right up there.
Those two qualities go hand in hand. When you feel good about yourself, you have no need to be anyone but who you are. And when a man feels he's seeing the real you -- not a woman who is acting a certain way -- that's what makes him feel super safe. (Yes, men want to feel safe in a relationship just as much as women.) When a man is attracted to you and feels there are no surprises around the corner, he allows himself to go for it because he feels comfortable with his choice.
So...the $64M question is this: how does one show confidence so you can attract the right man?
Again, think about how you see this in men. A confident man is clear about what he wants in life and shows he is going after it. He doesn't let others mistreat him. He greets people with comfortable eye contact. He is open about who he is, what he's accomplished, what he cares about and what makes him happy. He makes meaningful connections with others. (This last part is what separates the pleasantly confident man from the it's-all-about-him-so-don't- waste-your-time man; it's the listening thing.)
Men like that attract you, right? And then when you learn more about him and you connect on the real stuff...bingo!
Now, think about exactly what he is doing to show up as Mr. Confident:
- He feels good about who he is. (He has learned to love himself!)
- He talks about himself.
That's it. It's really that simple. When you put yourself out there openly, honestly and in a positive light, you will magnetize the right people. And if you can't do this, I'm not overstating to say that you will not meet your perfect life partner. Someone has to know you to be able to choose you.