The One Word You Can Use To Magnetize The Right Man

By

The One Word You Can Use To Magnetize The Right Man
Bobbi Palmer tells women dating over 40 the one word that will change how men respond to them.

A single man I know once said: If a woman I'm interested in doesn’t seem to love herself, why should I love her...and trying to convince her that she's great would be too f---ing exhausting.

 

When a man meets this kind of woman he may be attracted initially, but after figuring out that she is a project (one he doesn't care to take on), he will soon disappear. Your phone won't ring after the first or second date because if you're not keen on yourself, a good man takes that as a signal to run.

It makes sense. Think about how you judge a man as a good potential mate.

On the list of what you're looking for in a man (c'mom...I know you have a list!) I bet "confidence" is way up there on the top. It's human nature to be attracted to people who seem to truly like themselves. They make us feel safe and, heck, if they clearly know they are worthy of attention and admiration, we go along for the ride until we learn otherwise.

Confidence tops the list of both women and men when they describe what turns them on about the opposite sex. When men are asked what qualities most attract them to a woman as a partner (not just a playmate), confidence and authenticity are right up there.

 

Those two qualities go hand in hand. When you feel good about yourself, you have no need to be anyone but who you are. And when a man feels he's seeing the real you -- not a woman who is acting a certain way -- that's what makes him feel super safe. (Yes, men want to feel safe in a relationship just as much as women.) When a man is attracted to you and feels there are no surprises around the corner, he allows himself to go for it because he feels comfortable with his choice.

So...the $64M question is this: how does one show confidence so you can attract the right man?

 

Again, think about how you see this in men. A confident man is clear about what he wants in life and shows he is going after it. He doesn't let others mistreat him. He greets people with comfortable eye contact. He is open about who he is, what he's accomplished, what he cares about and what makes him happy. He makes meaningful connections with others. (This last part is what separates the pleasantly confident man from the it's-all-about-him-so-don't- waste-your-time man; it's the listening thing.)
Men like that attract you, right? And then when you learn more about him and you connect on the real stuff...bingo!

Now, think about exactly what he is doing to show up as Mr. Confident:

  1. He feels good about who he is. (He has learned to love himself!)
  2. He talks about himself.

————————————————

That's it. It's really that simple. When you put yourself out there openly, honestly and in a positive light, you will magnetize the right people.  And if you can't do this, I'm not overstating to say that you will not meet your perfect life partner. Someone has to know you to be able to choose you.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Dating Coach

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Why Midlife Sex Is The Best Sex

By

Can I make a few assumptions? If you’re reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal. Taken together, here’s what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of ... Read more

Let's Get Physical, Or Should We? 5 Tips For Midlife Dating

By

Wanna hear your body talk? If the idea of having sex in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond is intimidating, you are not alone. I get a lot of questions about the whats and hows of having sex “in this day and age” and at this stage of life. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with a guy and get hung up like an 18-year-old. ... Read more

3 “Ah-Ha!” Differences Between Dating Men And Boys

By

If you are a single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular