I can hear it now: "Are you crazy? Divorce isn't fun! It's painful, ugly and harsh. How could it possibly be fun?" You're right. There probably aren't many people who would put divorce and fun in the same sentence, but I will!
Now, I'm not saying you should be seeing your divorce as an amusement park-grade experience, but I am saying that you can have fun during your divorce process — despite all of the drama surrounding it. If laughter really is the best medicine, then having fun is the best prescription possible.
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Here are 8 different ideas for injecting a little positivity into a frustrating time. Pay particular attention to the ones that seem particularly wild to you — they're probably the ones that have a juicy message for you... if you're willing to step in and experiment!
1. Create an emotional playlist
Create at least five new music playlists on your favorite portable device. Fill them with music that resonates with you when you're:
Five playlists, five emotional states. Whether you're feeling angry, sad, scared, happy or sensual, break out your playlist and DANCE! Stacatto, blues, electric, boppy, flowing — whatever helps you to express these five basic emotions will help you to feel and heal. Let music help you flow with your emotions, make friends with your emotions and have fun with your emotions!
2. Get a pedicure
Guys, don't skip to the next one! If you have never had a pedicure, you are missing one of life's true delights. The last time I had one, I bumped into one of my former mediation clients. He was waiting in line for his pedicure — smart man! If a fancy spa is too intimidating, go to one of those walk in nail places that seem to have sprung up everywhere. You'll get a massaging chair to sit in, warm water, a great foot and leg massage, along with supple, smooth skin! You will walk out of there grinning and feeling 10 pounds lighter (and no, you do not have to put color on your nails! But, hey! You could!).
Ladies, maybe a pedicure is nothing new for you. So, how can you enhance the experience? My favorite way is to pick a color that is as far away as possible from my usual reddish-pinkish-coralish choice. Looking at aquamarine toes for a week creates a sideways grin as I repeatedly remind myself whose feet I'm looking at!
3. Gift yourself an impulse day
Can't commit to a full day? Try an "impulse hour". Schedule a day when you don't have your kids or don't have to work. Protect the day from any intrusions; plan nothing. Turn off your alarm clock and shut off your computer.
Now, in this moment, what do you feel motivated to do? Don't be surprised if the answer to this doesn't come to you immediately, or even 10 minutes later! We're so programmed, organized, scheduled and planned that we don't always give much attention to what we really feel moved to do. So enjoy the conundrum. Do your best to move through your day asking yourself "what do I feel like doing now?"... and then do it!
4. Stretch your appreciation muscle
This one I would strongly recommend you commit to doing for at least a week. Deliver one appreciation and you'll feel kind of warm and fuzzy. Deliver a weeks' worth and you'll be grinning from ear to ear (and probably addicted to appreciating, which is no bad thing!).
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Here's the challenge: twice every day for a week, deliver an appreciation (verbally or written) to a different person; so, 14 appreciations delivered to 14 different people. Your child, your mother, your best friend, your work colleague, the grocery store cashier, the person who moves out of the way as you rush down the block. How about your former partner? Appreciating others feels so good. People's responses (whether expressed out loud or simply through their body language) can be an extra treat. Keep reading...
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