Household Chores: The Best Way To Say 'I Love You'


household chores: how to say 'I love you'
Learn how sharing the load at home can enhance your intimacy.

I fell in love with my husband, Glenn, while he was vacuuming my living room 35 years ago during our first weekend together. Mildly allergic to cat hair, he asked if he could vacuum my two-cat apartment to minimize his tendency to sneeze. I guiltily agreed, grateful that he wasn't criticizing me for not being as adept at home maintenance as he was (and still is). 

Since he was clearly eager to make my living quarters a comfortable place for him to spend time with me, I realized he really liked me. Fortunately, "like" soon evolved into "love" and he's continued to vacuum our various homes—and do even more chores—ever since.


My hubby's far from alone in choosing to be an equal partner in domestic maintenance. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Issues, sharing household duties tends to strengthen relationships. Other research studies suggest that marital bonds remain strong when both partners participate in household tasks in an equation that feels fair to both, even if it's not always 50/50 in terms of time or effort.

While my husband's skills at doing home chores helped me fall for him, it also continues to make me feel loved by him. This is even more relevant now than in our early days since I'm still working as a life coach, counselor and author to help pay our bills while he retired several years ago. This means he's able to spend even more time on household duties, gardening and writing, which works well for both of us. 

I consciously choose to appreciate his house maintenance skills as evidence of how much he cares about me and our long-term relationship. We've always shared daily chores, especially when one of us worked at home while the other worked in an office or traveled for business. When our daughter was young, for example, my husband was a band road manager who traveled for weeks at a time on concert tours, so I was often a "temporary single mom." Now that our daughter's grown and preparing to start a family of her own, I enjoy having the freedom to travel for teaching and speaking engagements while Glenn's happy to spend most of his time at home! 

I also appreciate his willingness to do what some men consider "women's work," which he's done all his life. As the third of four brothers, he was well-taught by his mom to help around the house, especially the vacuuming, laundry and dishes (which in our house get washed in the sink as we don't have an automatic dishwasher). These particular chores are my least favorite and I've always been relieved that Glenn does them much better than I can.  (Self-disclosure note: My stay-at-home mom only required that my older brothers and I clean our own rooms when I was young, bless her heart. Thus, I've always been "household chore-impaired.") Keep reading...

More romance advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Barbara Schiffman

Life Coach

Barbara Schiffman, C.Ht., ARCT

Life&Soul Balance Coach, Author/Speaker

Certified Hypnotherapist + Advanced Akashic Records Practitioner/Teacher

Let me help you Enjoy Your Life & Evolve Your Soul!

websites:  http://barbaraschiffman.com


LIKE me on Facebook:

Join my 2015 Simple Abundance Book Club/MasterMind Group beginning 1/3/15:  Simple Abundance 2015

Check out my ecourses: Taking Your Leap of Faith and Energize Your Life

Check out my "Genuine You" ecourse: Refresh Your Life

Location: Toluca Lake, CA
Credentials: CHT, Other
Specialties: Holistic Coach, Life Management, Life Transitions, Spiritual, Stress Management
Other Articles/News by Barbara Schiffman:

4 MORE Awesome Ways to Thrive in a LONG Marriage


“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success,” according to industrialist Henry Ford.  A successful marriage also requires long-term commitment to staying and working together by both partners. My marriage of over 35 years continues to feel successful due to the small moments even more than its ... Read more

4 Awesome Ways To Stay Happy In A LONG Marriage


“A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short,” according to French essayist and author Andrew Maurois in his 1942 memoir. Though most twenty-first century relationships seem like brief emails versus long conversations, this is still true in 2015.. This August marks 38 years since I met ... Read more

5 Post-Holiday Unique Gifts To Give Yourself For 2015


Now that everyone's opened the presents you gave them for Christmas 2014, what did you give yourself? You deserve to be appreciated for all that you did for others and for yourself this past year. So, if you haven't yet given yourself unique gifts for the holidays, get ready to shop for yourself in the post-Xmas sales. There are 5 types of ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular