How To Get Past the Boredom Slump In Marriage

By

How To Get Past the Boredom Slump In Marriage [EXPERT]

Natalie was bored in her marriage. At first she could hardly admit it to herself. After all, they were a perfect match: similar backgrounds, same religion, similar professions (she was a school psychologist, he was a psychology professor). Didn't all the research suggest that the more you have in common, the more likely you are to succeed as a couple? Yet, those feelings of boredom were definitely surfacing. David wasn't as exciting as he used to be. He was so busy with all of his professorial assignments. Plus, he's head of the department. Where were all those easy fun days they used to have?

But on the other hand, Jack seemed so alluring in her mind. Jack whom she had not actually seen face to face in over 15 years. But the memories ... oh, those memories. They were so arousing and made her feel so wanted. And his interest in her on Facebook was very appealing. So sincere and respectful of her marriage. But behind his interest she sensed that his marriage might not be the rock of Gibraltar. Maybe he was bored also! Mmmmm ... something else for Natalie to fantasize about. Why Can't I Find A Relationship?

Natalie, one of my characters in my new book, Next Year in Jerusalem! Romance, Mystery & Spiritual Awakenings, is trying to handle a very common issue that women face in marriage. She has become bored, but knows she is married to a great guy. Her mind is wandering and she is at risk!

What is this boredom all about? I've heard hundreds of tales of woe around boredom in my practice as a psychologist. I can sum it up by saying that most of the time the boredom stems from a core problem. That problem is disappointment that the spouse doesn't understand his wife better. Or more simply, that it has turned out that he is not very good at mind reading! 5 Ways To Be Happy About Your Love Life Right Now!

For example, I discovered that my client was disappointed because her husband wasn't sensitive to her feelings. However, upon further questioning, my client admitted that she didn't make clear to her husband that her feelings were hurt or that she needed extra hugs and attention. She assumed he would just pick up on it. After all, he had said how much he loved her!

More relationship advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Barbara Becker Holstein

Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach

Credentials: EdD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Life Transitions, Parenting, Child Development, Girls, Tweens and Teens

Website: Barbara Becker Holstein's website

Telephone: 732-571-1200  e-mail: drbarbara@enchantedself.com

Websites: Enchanted Self,  TheTruthforgirls next-year-in-jerusalem,  authorsspeaking positivepsychologyforwomen

Latest Books: The Truth, Diary of A Gutsy Tween; Around Every Corner, Romance & Mystery...(On Kindle), Secrets: You Tell Me Yours And I'll Tell You Mine...Maybe, Next Year In Jerusalem, Parts 1 And 2, The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy

You Tube: Enchanted Self, The Truth for Girls, Next Year in Jerusalem

Find me on Twitter: @TRUTH4GIRLS, and @DRBHOLSTEIN

Find me on Pinterest: DR. BARBARA

Sign up for my webinar on Women and Fantasy

Location: Long Branch, NJ
Credentials: EdD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Barbara Becker Holstein:

"The Enchanted Self" and What It Means to You - Part 2

By

I have found the most effective way to teach people how to access their Enchanted Self, i.e. to find and hold onto feelings of joy, and a sense of well-being is to share the Seven Gateways To Enchantment. It is a quick way to catch your Enchanted Self. So let's explore the Gateways and then try an enchanted assignment! The first Gateway is The ... Read more

"The Enchanted Self" and What It Means to You - Part One

By

The Rebbe Nachman of Breslow often said, "Always remember-Joy is not merely incidental to your spiritual quest. It is vital." As the years have gone by and I've been in the practice of psychology over 20 years, I have become more and more convinced that he was so right, that joy is not an option. When we take away joy and we take away a sense ... Read more

5 Ways To Handle Midlife Crises

By

I am always so excited when I find a true kindred spirit. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling? Daina is one of mine. You will see why when you read her inspiring five easy steps below for living an enchanted life. Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that what my work is all about? Let’s shout out "Yes" to both questions. And now, get ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular