How you view your life can change everything.
Looking at herself in the mirror, Donna was disgusted. Her face looked haggard, her hair needed a good cut and there was no sparkle in her eyes. True, it had been a hard week. Jerry had dumped her and not with a lot of tact. She wasn't too excited about their relationship anyway, but she certainly wasn't ready to be dumped at the end of their date at the diner.
And not much else was working out. She needed a new roommate in order to meet the rent and she only had a week left to interview candidates. Her job didn't appear to have a future. Sales were down and the owner of the company was talking about retiring. Life sucked, and she sucked. A loser in relationships. A loser with finding the right roommate. A loser at finding a job with a future.
I hope you are feeling as miserable reading about Donna as I felt writing about her. As a psychologist, I often hear stories like the above. The sad part of Donna's response system is that she is making her life even more miserable because of the way she is telling the tale of her life to herself. She doesn't know how to deal with depression.
So often, when we are down and out, we punish ourselves worse than anyone else would bother to punish us. And what we need to do is exactly the opposite. We need to stay connected to our talents, strengths and potential. One could say we need to stay in love with ourselves. Just as a parent loves a child not only for who she is at the moment, but for what she may become over time, we need to see ourselves in the best positive light.
Donna had a feeling Jerry wasn't for her anyway. She just didn't want to be suddenly dumped over coffee. Understandable. Finding a roommate is hard, but she still has a week and she actually is good at interviewing. It will work out. And it isn't her fault that her boss may sell his business and retire. Her job is still there and hopefully he will write her a great recommendation.
To all of us Donnas out there, before you look in the mirror again, go and write down five great things about yourself. Plan two nice things you are going to do for yourself. And finally, call a friend and let the friend know how bad you are feeling. Now when you are ready, look in the mirror. I think you will already see a different reflection!