What To Do With The Guy In The Bar

Have you ever had this conversation with a group of your girlfriends at a bar, “OMG, check him out, he’s damn cute. I know he’s been checking us out all night. Why doesn’t he come over and say ‘Hi’?” Well, I’m about to shed some light on why that cute guy doesn’t dare approach you. Once this secret is revealed, you will better know how to position yourself and act like a magnet to any guy anywhere anytime.

That cute guy will never, and I mean never, approach a table full of women and talk to just one. He believes that the odds of success are so stacked against him that he is destined to fail. The thought of being turned down or ignored is just too big of a personal risk. Unless he is drunk, and then who wants to talk to him anyways, almost no decent guy will ever take this kind of risk. He can envision the rejection therefore he won’t risk it. It’s like asking a girl to dance and she says “NO” but her response is secretly being broadcast on the bar’s own stereo system. Or like the DJ turns off the music to play her rejection response to all the patrons. Imagine how embarrassing and deflating that is to a guy. Of course, this is an exaggeration of what actually happens but this is what guys think.

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If you want that cute guy to introduce himself to you, you have to give him an opportunity to see himself as successful. He will be looking for an opportunity to separate you from your ‘herd’ of friends. Therefore, once you have made eye contact with him I suggest that you slide to another part of the bar, to order a ‘phantom’ drink or appetizer. If you have been making eye contact all evening long, he will jump on the opportunity to speak to you while you’re alone. If he doesn’t get the hint make sure you take the initiative to say, “Hi” just in case he still doesn’t get that you’re interested.

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Once you two spark a conversation, smile and reassure him that he is in the right place. This means having eye contact and acting interested. I can’t tell you how many women want a guy to approach them and then act hard to get; this is confusing. Make your intentions clear without appearing like a needy chick who just wants to get laid.

Usually this is not the time to have an in-depth conversation, in front of your leering girlfriends, loud music and lots of distractions. Typically this makes everyone on edge. Don’t share your whole life or even who you are there with, at this point. Now is the time to get him interested and wanting to know more about you, hence a date. Leaving a little to the imagination can go a LONG WAY. Tell him that you would love to chat with him when you can give him your FULL ATTENTION. Ask him to call/text or email you in a few days or you can always ask for his number if that is more comfortable for you.