Becoming intimate with your new partner can be a very exciting time in a young relationship. At some special moment you enter the realm where true intimacy begins, and infatuation is transformed into something deeper and more real.
One very common question callers ask Ask Mars Venus Telephone Coaches is "When should we become intimate?" Good question! Sexual intimacy is one of the most important things to consider when dating a new partner. Not only is the decision to become intimate a big turning point in the relationship, but it can also create havoc if both partners are not on the same stage of dating. The real surprise, and very real concern, for many of our callers is that early intimate encounters are actually one of the leading reasons why relationships don't work.
With so many people having sex early in relationships, how can you prevent this wonderful experience from harming your new relationship?
Becoming intimate is a serious step. While many people walk into this decision quite easily, it's important to remember that there are always consequences for this choice. Before you take a walk down this path with a new partner, here are a few heartfelt questions from the Ask Mars Venus Coaching team to ask yourself.
- Is your new partner open to talking with you about becoming intimate?
- Do you know what your new partner is looking for from an intimate relationship? Some possibilities are friendship, love, commitment, or even marriage.
- Do these ultimate goals match your own goals?
- Has your partner been intimate in the past? If so, is s/he "safe" from any sexual diseases?
- Are they open to being tested for diseases, and are you?
- If you become sexually involved what does that mean to you? For some people there is a silent expectation that sex = relationship, but that isn't the case for everyone.
- Do you want or need to ask your partner about their sexual history? If so, do you have a plan for how to do this in a non-threatening way?
Are you unsure of how to approach these delicate questions with your new partner, or have you become intimate and now your relationship has changed?
A coach can help! Many relationships can be repaired if the right intervention happens before any additional damage is caused. Coaches can teach you how to ask the right questions at the right time . When it comes to sex, timing is everything, and the right question, asked in the wrong way is guaranteed to send your new partner back to the dating pool to look for someone new to date.
There are three basic areas to consider when looking for support about sexual intimacy, and a coach can help with all three:
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