If you have an online dating profile posted ANYWHERE online
Let's get something out of the way up front. If you have an online dating profile posted anywhere online or plan to in the near future, then this article contains information that can and will improve your fortunes immediately. But here's a surprise: Even if you are not exactly into online dating, you are going to be glad to have read the following, anyway. "Why?" you ask.
Well, chances are you have got a Facebook, Twitter and/or Google+ profile, right? Obviously, having the most flattering pictures of yourself possible always helps, that's a no brainer. But here is something that maybe you haven't considered.
Remember back in high school when you always exchanged pictures with members of the opposite sex you met? Well, nothing has changed, really. It is still a great idea to have some particularly good pictures on hand to share with someone you have started dating. It is an excellent way to keep a solid, positive impression of how wonderful you are at the forefront of their mind, (especially in light of the shockingly high percentage of people I have seen online, who clearly have no quality photos of themselves whatsoever!)
You do NOT want to be one of those unfortunate (but plentiful) people. With that in mind, here are a half-dozen ways to make sure you have great pictures of yourself instead.
1) Think Like A Customer Service Agent
This is absolutely golden and perhaps one of the very most foolproof strategies going. Ever notice something about virtually every photo you see online depicting a customer service agent? Sure, they all have one of those headphone/mic combos on their head, but they all have the same exact expression on their faces, too—male or female. They have a certain confident, but warm look about them. That is no coincidence. After all, the whole point is to get you to see them as both competent and easy to talk to. If they can sub-communicate that impression in your mind, you are more likely to actually contact them, right? Well guess what? Your best pictures of yourself (online or off) should have the same goal. You want to excite men about getting in touch with you. So it is worthwhile to practice until you can duplicate that customer service countenance. Oh, and relax your way into that facial expression rather than forcing it. It will turn out much better that way.
2) Stay Indoors, And Stay Natural
There are two certain ways to look terrible in photographs. The first is to stand in the dark and let a flashbulb wash you out, thereby highlighting all of your flaws—even the ones that are practically invisible under every other circumstance. The second is to go outside on a sunny day and squint into the camera. Nobody has ever been more attractive when wrinkling his or her face up into a knot—NOT! Wearing sunglasses is not exactly the solution either. We all need to see your eyes, you know, since they are the windows to your soul, and all. So what's the solution? Find a place that is inside and has natural light, so you don't need a flash. If it is overcast outside, that is good also. The point is to look your best and bright light (be it solar or electronic) does not do that.
3) Be Happy and SMILE!
Not long ago I was coaching someone on how to perform effective searches online when something truly bizarre occurred to us. Fewer than half of the people listed in the search results were smiling in their primary photos. Many looked downright angry or vexed. You see, in my mind this seems pretty fundamental, but apparently it doesn't to most other people. Smile in your pictures. You probably look more attractive when you do. Plus, you will most certainly appear to be more positive a human being and therefore more intriguing.
4) Stay Focused
What is up with all of these photos I have seen online that are eitherblurry or poorly framed? If you are blurry in your pictures, men are not going to assume you are more attractive than you appear. Rather, they are going to think you are hiding something. And as we all know, misrepresenting yourself online is pretty much the kiss of death. Crisp, clear pictures are a must. And if half of your head is cut off it is hard to get a good idea of what you look like as well. Make sure to be centered in your picture, as vision of symmetry is pleasing to the eye, which is always a good thing.
5) Leave No Doubt What Your Gender Is
Masculine men are attracted to feminine women, and vice-versa, right? So why not make it a point to wear the most gender-specific clothes you have? An over the shoulder glance shot is perfect. There is just something about that sort of picture that intrigues guys to no end. Be sure to stand up straight and strike the kind of pose that only a woman could!
6) Dress For Success
I cannot tell you how many frumpy women and sloppy men I have seen in pictures online. How can you expect to attract men unless you have made an honest effort to at least look your best before getting in front of the camera? Without exception, whenever any guy sends me the usernames of his top 5 choices among all the women in his area, the pictures that I see are of women in dresses, high heels—the whole nine yards. It is rare to see women in sweatpants and oversized T-shirts in those pictures. The smartest guys online know this is true which is why they put on their Sunday Best (yes, even a suit) instead of fooling themselves into thinking that a wife beater or T-shirt and bed-head look is going to attract any high-quality women whatsoever.
So, there you go. Some of what you have just read may seem refreshingly original. Glad to help you get an edge there. But no doubt, you have probably noticed that there is also been a lot of good sense involved. Unfortunately, however, it would appear once again that good sense is not necessarily so common. Seriously, follow the six steps I have outlined for you above and you will be way ahead of 90% of everyone else.
As a footnote, a recent client wrote a wonderful testimonial to me, and I asked for a lovely picture of her to go on my website with her testimonial. I could not get my head around the picture she sent me. It looked like a mug shot from an arrest file. I got back to her, telling her there was no way i was going to use such a picture and told her she is a very attractive woman, and I wanted a high quality picture. She did what I asked, and the picture she sent me was excellent.
Consider this, you would make a great effort to look your best when going out on a real world date with a man, so why are you not making the effort to look your best on your on-line dating profile? It is, after all, your shop window where you are presenting your self to the dating world. Appearances do matter.
What are your thoughts and ideas? I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day and I will be glad to hear from you!
As always, leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.
Average men and women know only the rules.
Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!
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For More Online Dating Advice From YourTango:
- 5 Important Tips For Online Dating Success
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- Online Dating Tips for Single Men