I will start this article with a story.
Open, Carry, Kill!
She stood by the sink, struggling with a jam jar. I noticed, walked over, took it gently from her hands and with a soft, sharp pulse, loosened the top... and for this, she kissed me.
Women speak with their bodies better than we do, and what she was saying was...
“I’m glad you’re here.” And… “I’m glad you are a man.” ”I love men” ”I feel taken care of.” ”I feel complemented and completed and safe.”
To us, doltish men that we are, it was just a stupid jar... yet it is in the smallest gestures of service that we often make our value felt.
Whenever I am asked to open a jar, carry a heavy box or kill a mosquito, I marvel at the subtle dynamics that go on between the masculine and feminine.
No matter how competent, strong or professional a woman may be, there is always a subtle sexual gratitude that happens in these moments - as if for a moment, we are quietly returned to our core sexual essences.
Now, here is where it gets fun and more interesting... women like to joke about it, that this exactly what men are good for... opening, carrying and killing.
So, recently, I found myself wrapping my arms around a woman who said this, looking into her eyes and reframing her comment...
”That’s right. I’m here to open your life to new experiences. I’m here to carry your burdens when you need a strong shoulder. And I’m here to help you kill your little self so you can live as the fullest, most expansive and loving self possible.”
Her whole body relaxed into mine as she seemed to breathe out a lifetime of burden.
“I like that,” she cooed.
And (you will not be surprised here) – I liked THAT.
Raise your expectations of the gifts you bring women, and they will see you with a more deeply appreciative eye.
We, as men ARE here to serve the feminine open... to allow them to open into the love that they really are, providing them a rock of trustability and steadiness... we allow them to open into new adventures by being a guide, by living boldly and by making the world safe before them.
We carry their burdens — which may seem so heavy to them, and so momentary and light to us (especially when they feel socially slighted by another, or unloved in some way)... when we are doing our job right, we bring them back to their core worth.
Yes, mosquitoes... and when we are living with enough breadth and perspective and depth, if we are bigger than the moment’s concerns, bigger than the immediate circumstance, bigger than our own piddling little egos and out momentary needs - when we kill the smallness in ourselves, we give life to the breadth and joy of our women.