Understand Yourself - Your Masculinity - AND Women
I will start this article with a story.
Open, Carry, Kill!
She stood by the sink, struggling with a jam jar. I noticed, walked over, took it gently from her hands and with a soft, sharp pulse, loosened the top... and for this, she kissed me.
Women speak with their bodies better than we do, and what she was saying was...
“I’m glad you’re here.” And… “I’m glad you are a man.” ”I love men” ”I feel taken care of.” ”I feel complemented and completed and safe.”
To us, doltish men that we are, it was just a stupid jar... yet it is in the smallest gestures of service that we often make our value felt.
Whenever I am asked to open a jar, carry a heavy box or kill a mosquito, I marvel at the subtle dynamics that go on between the masculine and feminine.
No matter how competent, strong or professional a woman may be, there is always a subtle sexual gratitude that happens in these moments - as if for a moment, we are quietly returned to our core sexual essences.
Now, here is where it gets fun and more interesting... women like to joke about it, that this exactly what men are good for... opening, carrying and killing.
So, recently, I found myself wrapping my arms around a woman who said this, looking into her eyes and reframing her comment...
”That’s right. I’m here to open your life to new experiences. I’m here to carry your burdens when you need a strong shoulder. And I’m here to help you kill your little self so you can live as the fullest, most expansive and loving self possible.”
Her whole body relaxed into mine as she seemed to breathe out a lifetime of burden.
“I like that,” she cooed.
And (you will not be surprised here) – I liked THAT.
Raise your expectations of the gifts you bring women, and they will see you with a more deeply appreciative eye.
We, as men ARE here to serve the feminine open... to allow them to open into the love that they really are, providing them a rock of trustability and steadiness... we allow them to open into new adventures by being a guide, by living boldly and by making the world safe before them.
We carry their burdens — which may seem so heavy to them, and so momentary and light to us (especially when they feel socially slighted by another, or unloved in some way)... when we are doing our job right, we bring them back to their core worth.
Yes, mosquitoes... and when we are living with enough breadth and perspective and depth, if we are bigger than the moment’s concerns, bigger than the immediate circumstance, bigger than our own piddling little egos and out momentary needs - when we kill the smallness in ourselves, we give life to the breadth and joy of our women.
So pay attention to the subtle ways that women value you... the small ways in which you are appreciated may be pointers to your own greatest gifts to women and to the world.
No matter what anyone says to you, being a Masculine Man is a GOOD thing... it is NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Women want heroes...
Women want men who are leaders - who make things happen...
Women want Masculine Men.
I have discovered something over the years... there are basically two kinds of women...
1) The ones who are attracted to "masculine qualities," and...
2) The women you do NOT want in your life.
That is pretty much it.
If a woman cannot appreciate you as a masculine MAN, she will be big trouble for you later on.
And these women are in a 90/10 ratio out there - only about 10% are the ones you need to avoid... the sad thing is that when a man is not fully a MAN, he can take one of the women in the 90% that is attracted to an Masculine Man and he winds up turning her into a bitter nag.
He can make a quality woman so frustrated and unhappy that she simply turns into the kind of woman he does not want.
It took me years to discover the essential ingredients of being a REAL Masculine Male with women, and when I found the optimum mix, it was like discovering the winning recipe of ingredients.
In fact, when you understand how to avoid the behaviors that signal women the wrong way, and you regain control... you can create a "Perfect Storm" where everything comes together and "Clicks" in the right way - at the right time.
So what does it mean to be a "Man"?
You might find that you do not have a good answer for that question. I did not know what it meant for years and years of my life. I thought I did, after watching a ton of James Bond movies and sports on TV, and I really only had a superficial understanding of what it meant to be a real man. James Bond is not enough.
Especially today, in a world that is much more focused on women in many ways... in the past, for thousands and thousands of years, boys had a definite "coming of age" or "rite of passage" to becoming a mature man... they were literally put through painful ceremonies to help them "graduate" from being a boy into being a man... sometimes they were scarred, or beaten, or forced to endure days alone in the wilderness fighting to survive... and you do not have to go through all that now.
Yet many men today feel this part of their lives is missing - like their Male Power has been amputated... and most men do not even know what it is because we did not have any examples of how to become "initiated" into being men.
In the early part of the 1900s, it meant going to war and putting your life on the line for your country... and somewhere after the fighting was over, we changed - and