The "Nice" Guy Syndrome That Just Kills Attraction and Masculinity.
In this second article (following on from part 1)I deal with the dreaded "Nice Guy Syndrome" that eventually kills attraction with a woman and takes away your "Masculine Balls" as a MAN!
Jack sent an e mail to me, unfortunately this type of e mail turns up in my inbox often... a guy who "thinks" he has done everything right... is being the "Nice" guy and the women he is with leaves him for another man... sad and true... in the "Mating Game"... Mr Nice Guy so often ends up the loser.
Jacks E Mail...
"Hey, Ange I've been dating a girl, Kelly, for the past three years. I did everything I could to be the best boyfriend possible. I was totally faithful. Whenever she had a problem, I was there to listen. I stopped hanging out with buddies of mine that she thought were bad influences. (One guy she complained was just too cocky for her taste) When she moved to London for work, I even left my job and moved with her. I pretty much rearranged my whole life around hers.Well, last week she dropped a bomb on me. She told me she was leaving me for another guy. When she told me who it was, I couldn't believe it. The guy's name is Steve and he's an arrogant jerk. He's also one of the big player. I think it's only a matter of time before he cheats on her and she comes back to me, but in the meantime, I'm confused and miserable. Is it really true that nice guys finish last?"
Jack P... London
When I work with a man, I discuss the concept of REAL primal attraction and how most men have NO IDEA of how to truly attract women on a deep, lasting, level.
With Jack, it sounds like his girlfriend liked certain things about him... yet did not have her LOCKED IN with the powerful type of attraction I am talking about... she took him for granted, and when a more attractive option came along, she jumped ship.
The thing is that ALL men have the ability to make themselves attractive to women.
And it does not have to do with looks or money... it is about displaying powerful Masculine behaviour.
See, the vast majority of women are wired to want to be with Masculine Man.
They need the sense of stability, security and strength that an Masculine Man provides... and I am not talking about physical strength.
As I have explained before in many articles I have writen in "The Intimate Communion Magazine," showing EMOTIONAL strength is far more important, and hugely attractive to women.
In fact, Rule 1 is to "Master Your Emotions."
Emotional strength is the psychological equivalent of physical strength... it allows a woman to feel safe and secure in the clear boundaries that a man provides for her.
She might SAY that she wants a "nice guy," the sweet, caring type who brings her flowers, provides a shoulder to cry on, and jumps through any hoop she puts in front of him... and as you know by now, this is not reality.
What she says is not what she really MEANS, primarily because she does not like what the truth would sound like if she were to say this emotional reality out loud... it would sound UN-politically correct, and almost, gasp... sexist.
She has an inner need to be with a man who does not take her crap, and who leads instead of always deferring to her decision.
In human relationships, there is a curious need for all of us (even men) to feel the limits of our impact on someone - sometimes referred to as "boundaries," however, there are not a whole lot of Masculine Men capable of providing this to women... so most women wind up courting or marrying a wuss... he could be the sweetest, kindest guy in the world, who brings home the bacon, never looks at another woman, and gives her anything she asks for?
And if he is a wuss and cannot stand his ground, his woman is going to secretly resent him for it... she will henpeck him and push his buttons to try to force him to show a backbone... this happens to anyone who runs unchecked in their relationship.
It is like being mad with power... when faced with this situation, most men become ever BIGGER wusses... they will bend over backwards to try to please their woman, because they want to avoid arguments.
Men, by their nature, like smooth sailing and calm emotional currents.
And this only annoys her even more.
We have all seen relationships in which the man is passive, and the woman is constantly nagging and controlling him... he does not know it, but HIS wuss behavior is what is fueling her anger!
The more he defers to her, the most bitter and hostile she becomes, because he is not living up to his Masculine side of the implied relationship contract.
This means he makes the tough decisions... he has a life outside of her, and is not always available to her at a moment's notice... and when she goes through one of her mood swings, he remains firm and steadfast.
You CAN be a decent and loyal man and you should be.
Yet you have got to have a tough Masculine foundation that commands respect from every person you meet.
And it does not even have to be your dad that teaches you this stuff.
And it is actually easy to do once you have the right information and the right roadmap to follow.
I got lucky. I had a uncle who was around most of the time as my father had divorced my mother when I was 14 years old... and I actually connected with him the way a father and son should... I was actually scared of my father because of his anger and temper issues... my uncle now he was a good male role model.
Even in spite of this, I fell into the same trap of trying to please women instead of just being The MAN first... I was lucky that the original teachings of my uncle were still in there, rattling around, waiting for me to remember them.
After I went through my personal "trial by fire," I finally realized how simple it was to get back in touch with being a masculine man.
Here Are 4 Simple Steps I Used To Get My Balls Back And Regain My Masculine Power With Life And Women.
1. I stopped taking advice from women on how to be a man. VERY IMPORTANT!
2. I got as much advice and direction as I could from real MEN... this included all the stuff I remembered from my uncle, and other good male role models I had met... I made these "initiated" men my mentors.
3. I took all the information I had and created my own "blueprint" for masculinity.
4. I followed that blueprint - and improved it - every day until I had it perfected.
The funny thing was that I thought it would take years and years to make this happen, yet the changes happened - as soon as I could see exactly what it was I had been doing wrong... and I am always learning and growing as a Man!
And through my work over the years I have shared with other men out there who want to become a powerful, confident, MASCULINE MAN.
No more acting like Mr. Nice Guy... no more pleasing women by kissing their butts or wussing out... no more trying to avoid conflict, backing down, and walking away feeling hollow inside... no more making excuses as to why I am not living my full potential as a man.
The fact is that even if you had a good male role model, AND you got the lessons you should, it is still very easy to get sucked into the trap of driving yourself crazy trying to please women.
The scary thing I realized many years later was that all women really want men to do is to BE MEN without worrying about what a WOMAN thinks of it.
Let me say that last part again, because it is so important...
Be a MAN without worrying about what SHE thinks about it.
THAT, my friend, is what creates explosive chemistry and attraction with women!
The sooner you connect with your ancient MASCULINE Male - not the caveman - the man who takes charge - does not take shit, commands respect - and gets it, the easier and less confusing your life will become... and women will actually THANK you for it.
In part 3 of "How To Grow Your Masculine Balls Back"
I will be going into "Understanding Yourself - Your Masculinity - AND Women."
Thank you for reading this article and joining me.
I will talk to you again soon.
As always, leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.
Average men and women know only the rules.
Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!
For Love, Passion and Intimacy...
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