People whose lives revolve around hidden closets and stuff swept up under the rug have a much harder time connecting with people on an authentic level because they are so busy trying to keep up with the last lie they told — the last grave they dug the last secret they kept from their significant other.
It is a hard thing to do. And there are five secrets men genuinely have that you should come clean with. While some women may be unable to deal with them, experience has shown if you have invested in a solid relationship, admitting these five things will not only be good for you, they will be good for the relationship as a whole as women naturally look to nurse you out of your pain. Read on to see the five lies you should give up .
1. Admit To Your Porn Addiction
Pornography can wreak havoc on a relationship. Some women find porn a difficult subject to talk about. Because so many men watched porn as a child, it is a learned behavior that you just never unlearned because it has such a strong footprint in your life. What happens is you become dependent on porn for excitement and energy and your mate become afterthoughts because few women bring to the love relationship what you watch in a mainline porn video. Pornography is about playing to the neorotic tendencies of you as man — which is to say that the best selling X-rated videos have the same components — women who are vocal about pleasure, sex that is hot and sweaty, and a man who lasts way longer than any of us could imagine. Those three concepts contextualize the desires of most men: we want a woman who tells us that what we are doing feels good; we want intercourse that is quick, fast, and volcanic; and lastly we want to last longer than she needs us to in order to get her to the point where she has an orgasm during intercourse. Get over it... admit that you have a problem.
2. Admit To Your Insecurities Regaring Sex And Intimacy
Because you have an ingrained complex about performance, most of you fear not being able to measure up to past experiences and the perceptions of how good sex is supposed to be when done right by someone who knows what they are doing. Your problem is made worse by the fact that you have low self-esteem, which means you can deflate the moment someone tells you something you don't want to hear about your performance.
3. Admit You Don't Know What You're Doing
If you could get to the point where you looked at your girlfriend or wife and said... "how can I please you", you might get a response that is otherworldly. The problem is admitting that you are clueless in pleasing women and don't know what you are doing. The only guides you have are the videos you have watched, the articles you have read and the stories you have heard. No one took you aside at high school graduation and said this is how you please a woman. If you are strong enough and admit that you are clueless in the bedroom, your lover will be gentle with you enough to show you how to please her.
4. Admit You Feel Rejected When Your Lover Says No
Maybe you are rejecting her because of performance issues or maybe you are just not in the mood. Whatever the case, when the door to sex and intimacy is closed, you hear rejection. Rejection hurts you emotionally and mentally — it is like a slap in the face and kick in the behind that demoralizes you into thinking that you want something other than getting your needs met. That pain is paralyzing for men who are unable to distinguish between rejection and reality.
5. Admit That Control Can Scare You
In a recent coaching session with a couple, both were struggling with sex until the man made a major breakthrough and opened up and shared with his partner. That was when the man realized that with his wife in control she could dominate him in ways that made him cower like a little boy. Both men and women like to control, and in terms of sex and intimacy, no one is really in control. So when a woman dominates a love relationship, it can scare a man to a place of uselessness. After this realization, they both enjoyed magical sex.
Men: here is what has to be done. You make a real attempt at personal and relationship growth and development by admitting to your vulnerabilities, insecurities, and problems to your significant others. Not in a weak, wishy washy kinda of way — that will turn your lover off.
By being authentic with honesty and strength, you might be surprised at how your lover responds. As always, leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you. Average men and women know only the rules. Masculine Men and Feminine Women know and are the EXCEPTIONS!
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