There are certain things that you think about men and relationships that are not right.
Tell me if you agree with any of these statements about men:
- Men like a challenge.
- They like the chase.
- If you are too "easy" or approachable, they will get bored or lose interest.
- Men are dominant in relationships and women therefore are unable to express themselves.
- Men cheat and are incapable of being monogamous.
- Men would secretly love to court and sleep with different women the rest of their lives rather than just have to stay with one serious, committed relationship.
- Men just want to have fun and "freedom" and no responsibility.
Did you find yourself nodding at any of these? Do you feel like having a fulfilling and connected relationship would be easy if it were not for the "hang-ups" men have about commitment or talking about how they feel?
If so, then it is likely you are not experiencing the kind of easy, effortless love that you want and deserve with a man, simply because you do not understand what it takes for him to...
A) feel "in love" with you
B) want to make you happy
C) want to devote himself to you and only you
Because that is why I'm about to offer you a little bit of insight into the 3 truths about men and how they really think and feel inside of relationships:
Truth 1: Men Do not Need To Chase
It's been said many times by many people that men need to be made to chase a woman in order to want her and commit wholeheartedly, which is not true. In fact, this is plain wrong.
Rather than wanting to "chase" a woman, men are humans first. They want and need to feel a deep, emotional level of attraction for a woman if they are going to be moved to want bigger and better things with you in their life. That everyday "physical attraction" a man can feel for any cute woman who walks by is not enough, and will never be enough to make him want something more than a casual fling.
Men can and will want to get close to you even if they just feel this physical attraction for you and you will likely have a hard time figuring out if they are or are not feeling that deeper and more intense and lasting emotional attraction.
Not to mention, a man will get easily "bored" with you and be lazy about a relationship or any kind of commitment if he is not feeling this emotional attraction for you.
So what is Emotional Attraction?
Emotional attraction goes way beyond what a woman looks like, what she says or how successful she is. If a man senses that a woman knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it, and that she has certain "standards" of what she will or will not put up with from a man, then he will feel incredibly drawn to her. It has nothing to do with playing games.
If you think that men just want to chase a woman and that acting or being unavailable is a turn-on for him, then I have to tell you right now: You are not going to get far with a man.
What works to keeping a man interested in you day after day, week after week, is something deeper that can only happen if he is feeling emotional attraction for you.
Truth 2: Men Feel Emotions Just Like Women
Men are pretty sensitive. It is just how they handle what they feel that makes them hard to connect with about it, and hard to understand—unless you know what is going on with how men handle these things in the first place.
However, most women are not taught how to relate to a man, just as men are not taught how to relate to women. Men have a hard time dealing with strong emotions from women. In many studies of how couples interact when in conflict, it was discovered that men often look detached or withdrawn because they feel intensely stressed and emotionally Flooded and are over whelmed by the argument.
It is not that they are more "in control"—they are actually less in control so they withdraw and shut down in order to try and cope. It is a natural defense mechanism in men. If a man cannot get himself out of the situation, and he does not possess the skills or emotional strength to stand strong with you, he will react in one of two ways: Get himself physically out of the situation and disappear, or he will retaliate with real aggression or even violence.
If a man tells you to back off, I advise you to heed his warnings and give him space so that he can cool down. When you work with me as your new coach, I explain specific ways to speak to men about difficult matters so that he can relax and actually open up to you instead of being defensive and aggravated. You need to engage him in ways that make him feel loved, safe, and comfortable.
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