You don't need the perfect relationship to be happy. Be in love with what you have today!
If you're desperately seeking the absolutely perfect relationship, call off the search!
Whether you're single, dating, married or divorced, you don't need to find a brand new partner — or a perfect partner at all — to be happier in love today. All you need to do is look at your current love life "bright side up," from a more positive perspective. By learning to appreciate what's in front of you, being grateful for the good stuff, and shifting the way you approach relationships, you can be happier right now. In other words, don't change your love life, just change how you see it. Here are five fresh ways from my book Bright Side Up that can help you feel happier with the love situation you're living in today.
1. Let the lemons in love help you appreciate the sweet stuff.
If you've never had a date go wrong, you wouldn't get as many fireworks in your belly when you kiss someone who's right. And sometimes it takes a bad relationship to open your eyes to see why you really deserve a good one. In other words, thank the lemons. Because as sour as they are in the moment, they're helping you appreciate the sweet stuff.
2. We all have a sweet spot. Find yours.
Tennis players know the sweet spot on their racquet and aim for it every time. Well, we can aim for those same "sweet spots" in love, too. When are you most affectionate? That's your sweet spot for date night.
When are you most patient and positive? That's your sweet spot for making plans for the future. What time of day or day of the week do you feel the most excited and hopeful? That's your sweet spot for first dates, when you're most open to having fun whatever happens. Harness the power of your sweet spot and you'll start hitting your whole love life out of the park.
3. Ask "What can I bring to the table?"
The condiments you pack in a picnic basket give you plenty of options to alter the taste of a meal, and that's how your love life is, too. If you're aggravated with your date or partner, ask yourself this: "What can I bring to the table that might change our connection?" Maybe you could be affectionate first, ask questions, or be a generous and understanding listener. Sometimes a little hot sauce can be just the thing to change the whole night.
4. Be grateful for your differences.
We groan about the differences or flaws in our partners, but thank goodness! You don't really want someone who likes the exact same food, music, books, and movies, and uses the same perfect towel-folding technique you do. The differences are what keep us learning, and the little flaws in one another are the unique parts worth loving.
You know what winning in love is? Finding happiness in the floor models of love: as is. So sit back and enjoy your date or partner for who they are, full of little imperfections and big differences. Whether you're with them for two hours or twenty years, the differences in love are what make life most interesting.
5. Hey, you learn something new in love every day.
If you had a bad date or a bad fight today, at least you'll know how to do things differently tomorrow. No rough moment in relationships is for naught if you gain wisdom and insight from the experience.
For more ways to see life's silver linings, check out Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now and visit her blog TheLifeOptimist.com.
5. It's fine to risk your friends' lives for a boyfriend.
Hey, remember when Ariel almost got her lifelong friend and occasional guardian Sebastian killed so she could dine with a guy who'd never even heard her talk? You do? You need to know that that's never okay.
7. It's acceptable to show up to parties uninvited.
There won't always be enough tea to go around if you keep showing up to parties you're not even invited to attend. And, like Alice, you may find yourself surrounded by lunatics with no respect for themselves, each other or anyone else's property.
When she was a kid, Tiana swore she'd never kiss a frog. She changed her mind. Sure, it worked out in the end, but only after she was transformed into an amphibian and subject to a number of voodoo curses.
13. Having short, dark hair is like, the worst thing ever.
Brunettes are people too. And listen, unless you have a genetic or Ariana Grande-edges issue, your hair will grow back. That's what hair does. If you don't think this is true, remember how you felt the last time you forgot to shave your legs.
Snow White was in a coffin with her eyes closed in a "sleep-like death," and the seven dwarves just let this happen. Like, Doc didn't even side-eye Prince Charming making out with what everyone thought was just a really well-preserved corpse. Why weren't her pals called the Seven Deviants?
You know why Snow White was always happy and encouraged you to "whistle while you work?" Because she wasn't actually working. She got woodland creatures to do all that crap for her. Then, like lots of people in upper management, she took credit for everything once it was done.
16. Your dad will always bail you out of dangerous situations.
Ariel could always rely on her father, King Triton, to save her in The Little Mermaid. For most of us, though, eventually our dads get tired of our s*it and make us grow up, whether or not that means growing legs.
Flynn Rider may be charming in Tangled, but he's a thief with a false identity and was in what's basically a gang with two sociopaths called The Stabbington Brothers. If you wouldn't allow yourself to get sexed into a gang, why would you encourage this Catfish coupling?
Wendy Darling was commissioned by Peter Pan and the Lost Boys to be their mother in Neverland. Then she tried to make out with Peter Pan, who, as you can tell, is just not that into her. Because Peter Pan isn't a creep, no matter how many associations he may have with the late Michael Jackson.
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