Husbands who truly love us and have at least the IQ of golden retrievers should know what we like and what we don’t, right? They shouldn’t need a manual. We shouldn’t have to spell it out for them, right? Wrong.
It’d be nice if our men intuitively knew what we wanted, but they don’t. Most men have no clue what women want. My husband certainly didn’t. Early on in our relationship, he used to communicate his desire to get busy by turning on the Playboy channel!
You can’t fault your man for bringing you chocolate when you are on a low-carb diet. You can’t fault him for taking you out for Mexican when, by gum, he should know already that you despise spicy food. You can’t fault him for buying you flowers when you really just want to hear the words, “I love you.” Men are clueless. Almost all of them are. If you want romance in your life, you need to give your man the clues.
This isn’t as easy as it sounds because, if you are like me, you don’t know what you want. There! How can he know what you want if you don’t know yourself? To help figure out what you want, think about these questions:
1) Romance is the way your man shows his love for you. What words or actions make you feel adored?
2) When you watch other happy couples together, what do they have that you pine for?
3) When you watch romantic movies or read romantic books, what do the male characters do or say that makes you swoon?
4) Think back to when you were happier in your relationship. How did he romance you then?
Then, talk about it. Tell him what you want. Explain that you want to feel loved. Say that you need him to show you that he adores you. You need it because of the hard times because, sometimes, you truly don’t know whether or not he gives a damn. Write a Romance Instruction Manual and give it to him; let him carry it around in his pocket. It just might make all the difference.
Alisa Bowman is the author of Project: Happily Ever After, which tells the real life story of how she went from the brink of divorce to falling back in love. It's available for pre-order on amazon.com. Visit her blog at http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com.