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Women Should Always be Initiators, Reciprocators, or Rejecters


Women Should Always be Initiators, Reciprocators, or Rejecters
Women: how do you communicate your romantic or sexual desires, interests, and intentions with men?

For the last ten years or more, I tend to put the interpersonal communication style of women into five general categories . . .

Initiators:  Most people in society say that it is generally expected that a single man will be the first to approach a woman, initiate a conversation with her, and invite her to share his company at some point in the near future for a romantic date or a casual hook-up.

More from YourTango: There is Nothing Sexy about Presenting Yourself as a "Nice Guy"

This is probably a valid assumption, but in the 21st Century, many single women have taken it upon themselves to approach men of interest, introduce themselves, initiate a conversation with a man, and offer their email address and/or mobile number to him.

Men consider this to be "assertive" rather than "aggressive."  In other words, it is great proactive behavior by women ... and (most) men love the gesture.

Reciprocators:  Are you a more "traditional" woman who would much prefer that a single man of interest make the first move?  If the answer is "yes," then wait for a man to make the first move, and once he clearly lets you know that he is attracted to you and is interested in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner, all you have to say is, "Yes ... I would love that!"  The chemistry between you two will begin to catch fire immediately.

Rejecters:  So you are thinking to yourself, "the man who just approached me is not exactly my type."  You do not have to be rude, harsh, or abrupt.  Once this man expresses an interest in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner, simply let him know, "I appreciate your interest in me ... it is very flattering ... but at this time, I am going to have to respectfully decline your invitation.  Thank you." You do not have to explain WHY you are not interested in sharing his company, because then that might invite some degree of annoying persistence from the man that you do not want.  Keep your response simple, and to the point.  You are not interested.  End of story.

Now the three types of communicators described above have all earned my respect over the years.  I have no harsh criticisms of these three types of women whatsoever.  I would venture to say that 99% of the men I know rarely criticize these types either.  These are your "non-manipulative" type female communicators.

There are two more types of female communicators that at minimum, leave a man agitated and frustrated, and at maximum, might potentially cause a man to start harassing you, stalking you, or hurling insults at you repeatedly (even in public!).  If you find after reading the descriptions below that your behavior at times falls under one of these two categories, then it would be my STRONG suggestion that you make some modifications to your interpersonal communication style with men as soon as possible.

More from YourTango: 10 Lies Men Tell (And Why They Tell Them)

Pretenders:  A 'Pretender' is a woman who will initially, temporarily, or indefinitely "pretend" as though she is not interested in sharing a guy's company in a romantic or sexual manner, but deep-down she is interested.

If she really is interested, why the façade of disinterest?

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