The truth is I was happy before I married. I’d been single for about 4 years and had used that time to really get to know myself. I had a successful career and good friends. I wasn’t the type to wait until I had a relationship to do things, so I went out with friends, traveled, and generally enjoyed my life.
So why, you ask, did I get married? The answer to that is I met my perfect match. When you reach a “certain age,” you know what you want. There are no more games, no more pretenses; at least that is how I think it should be.
As I mentioned I had been single for about 4 years. My relationship history prior to that wasn’t the best. So I had already spent a lot of time learning more about what makes relationships tick, why some last and some don’t, what were the skills that were needed. I continued this research during my single days and added some real introspection into myself. What was I really all about? What were the unseen things driving my relationships up to that point?
I use these tools in my coaching and workshops because I’ve seen firsthand how well they work. Once I had given myself a thorough examination, I was ready to determine exactly what type of relationship would make me happy. It wasn’t long before he walked into my life.
When I met my husband, there was something about him that told me he would be worth getting to know no matter where it led. On our first date we quickly realized that we were very much at ease with each other. We went out to have lunch on that first date and it turned into a daylong event.
I was divorced, loved to go out and to travel. He was a widower who had basically been a homebody most of his adult life. Although our life experiences up to that point were pretty different, we shared many of the same values. We were both willing to explore what the other had to offer. My family is small; I found that I enjoyed being welcomed into his large family. That value of the importance of family made it easy for us to find acceptance from both his family and mine. He found that he enjoyed going out with friends to meet for drinks, dinner or a movie. He discovered a love for travel that rivals my own.
We both value honest communication and spending quality time together. We both love to have fun and approach life from the perspective that we are meant to enjoy it. We both practice gratitude for the gifts we have been given. We have similar work ethics as well.
Yes, we are one of those couples that finish each other’s sentences. Actually often I have the thought and he says it. We have become inseparable, which may not work for everyone but it certainly does for us.
At the end of the day, I got married in my 50s because I was already happy with my life and I met the perfect person for me. One who could enrich my life even more with his presence, and one whom I can no longer imagine life without.