Amy Spencer is the author of the new book BRIGHT SIDE UP: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now (Perigee, February 2012) and MEETING YOUR HALF-ORANGE: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match (Running Press, 2010), which Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want called "a must-read for singles looking for love." She shares her powerfully positive views on life regularly on the TheLifeOptimist.com, and weekly, sends out a dose of "Vitamin Optimism," the happiest email you'll get all week (sign up on her homepage).
She also created the iPhone App Half-Orange Optimisms, which was featured on the iTunes "Featured Apps" and "Hot List," for positivity you can carry in your pocket. She has written essays and happiness and lifestyle features for Glamour, Real Simple, CNN.com, InStyle, Health, Redbook, New York and other national magazines, and used to host a live call-in radio show on Sirius XM satellite radio.
Read more about Amy at www.amyspencer.com.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
As pessimistic or down or "over it" you may feel in life or love, it is possible to become happier in your relationships, work, and home life. And I want to help as many people learn to do this as possible.
We now know, based on research in optimism and postive psychology, that while we can't always change what happens to us, we can change how we see and feel about what happens to us. And this is huge. Because this means we don't have to completely change our lives to be happier—we simply need to change how we see our lives to be happier. And thanks to still recent neuroscientific research, we know that the brain is capable of "neuroplasticity," which means we can change how it functions over time like warm clay. By challenging ourselves through "metacognition"—or thinking about our thinking—we can rewire the neurocircuitry in our brains so that our go-to mindset is a more positive one. You can life "the good life" with the very same life you have right now.
Articles by Amy Spencer
I was coaching Emma through her stalled dating situation. 39 and single, she wanted a husband and a family, but she was stuck as to what to do. She had filled out an online profile on JDate, but wasn’t into meeting anyone that way, and she was feeling negative about herself. She even wondered if she should move back to Italy where she once lived after college and felt great. I talked her off the ledge of any big leaps and let her off the hook. I explained, "If you don’t feel like online dating right now DON’T DO IT. Your negative energy is going to work against you." Dating is wonderful, but only if you're in a positive frame of mind about it, because the most important part of being the best single you can be is not about logging the dating numbers, but about feeling like your best self.
So, I walked Emma through the process of imagining how great she'd feel in the right relationship, and encouraged Emma to do something that made her happy, to feed her true, authentic self. So she went to the grocery store, bought ingredients for cranberry bread she’d wanted to make and had a great night baking it. Well, a few days later, Emma got an email from a man on JDate saying, “Hello from the neighborhood.” It turns out, he was behind her in line at the grocery store that day and recognized her picture! They went on a date, flew to Japan for their 40th birthdays six months later, and just got married a few months ago. That’s how to be a dating optimist: Feed your truest, happiest self, focus on how you want to FEEL in the right relationship, and let the glow you give out attract the right person to you.
|Time in Practice||10 years +|
|I practice in||All areas, please inquire|
|Additional Expertise||Life Coach|
YourTango Expert Partner
|I offer my services||Telephone|