by Rodney Mueller
You say you want a man, a leader, a lover and someone to take care of (love) you, yet you are not available to be taken care of (loved). You pride yourself on your independence and your not needing anyone. You probably are successful in your career, as in “important” and people need you. If you aren’t successful, you’ve definitely crafted a life that keeps you busy and conveniently less available and in less spots to be in relationship with a man.
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I know the truth, that secretly or not so secretly, what you want the most is to surrender
into love. What you want is to connect with a man that is so strong and grounded that
you no longer have to be independent, protected and guarded, so you no longer have to be the man in the relationship.
You say, “Why try,” or “I’ve already tried that,” only to end up bored and, or heartbroken. Both of these outcomes are the result of creating relationships that are “safe.” The boring ones are all about you not relaxing into and embracing your feminine. When you don’t allow your feminine, you control and create a masculine presence in a female body… you control and create a masculine presence in a female body. The masculine energy you are projecting will naturally attract feminine projecting men. And at some point, usually after the initial excitement and infatuation, you will get bored with him and the relationship. You are bored because, your truest self, the feminine, is not attracted to a man who is feminine, not a leader, not protection. I’m sorry, but it’s a primal and subliminal attraction. Ultimately, you become as sexually disinterested in the man you are dating as you would be to an elephant.
What’s next? You date the man that is the opposite of boring. Someone who you are juiced by with primal sexual energy, commonly called the bad boy. You might call him a four letter word, he might be a cheater or a low life leach. Instinctively, you know this man is not right for you, but you are so tired of the boredom of “normal” guys that you just can’t pull away. He either breaks up with you, disappoints you, cheats on you, or you finally wake up and realize the relationship is not healthy for you, leaving you baffled and devastated, that once again, even though this one was so promising, he wasn’t the “one.”
What’s next is either settling for a “nice” guy with credentials and a boring sex life or
continuing on the path of self loathing independence and, or pity.
Here’s the thing, the promised land, the oasis of peace and love that allows your feminine to express itself is only available in your surrendering to it and giving your trust to a man who is worthy of this gift.
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The very nature of love requires that you lay down your protection, lay down your masculine energy, so that you can be loved and supported in the way that you yearn for.
Own your beauty and power; please don’t settle for men who aren’t worthy of your shadow.