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11 Things I Learned About Life While My Girlfriend Was Stoned

My girlfriend doesn't do drugs. Ever. She's never smoked a cigarette, let alone anything else (just the smell of pot makes her nauseous), and she didn't even start drinking until she was 23 (and even then, she still only drinks just enough whiskey or gin to, as she says, "become a nicer person," then stops before it gets messy). Normally, that is. Recently, she had to get some oral surgery, and her dentist prescribed her codeine to help with the residual pain. If you've never done codeine before, it is one of the most powerful prescription drugs out of all the drugs out there — it's classified as both a narcotic and an opiate. Since she doesn't do stuff like that ever, she wasn't ready for the effects. AT ALL. Like I said, codeine is pretty powerful stuff. Once it took effect, it became one of the most entertaining events of my life.