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3 Hopeful (But Realistic) Ways To Survive Your Divorce

Heartbreak

Not all marriages last a lifetime.

Divorce is something nobody likes to speak bout.

We like to pretend that it'll never happen to us.

The truth is, despite the vows we take, not all marriages last.

And sometimes getting a divorce is the best thing that could happen to you. Even if you have kids.

A report in Scientific American explains that very few children of divorce experience long-term problems as a result. However, this outcome is not a guarantee. 

"Researchers have consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children," the authors explain.

Which is one major reason why it's best to prepare for your divorce, even if just within yourself. High-conflict divorces aren't good for anybody, but if you can plan ahead, you may be able to avoid some that strife and reduce stress — in your life, and your kids'.

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But how do you start?

First, you need to accept the signs that your marriage is over and face the reality that you are headed for divorce.

But what then?

In our latest Expert Quickies video, divorce attorney and advisor Karen Covy offers some concrete, actionable steps to help you get started when you and your spouse have decided to call it quits. After all, divorce is never easy, but it doesn't have to be a nightmare if you plan ahead a little.

Here are a few of her tips for surviving your divorce:

1. Deal with your emotions.

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Most people think the first thing you have to do is get a divorce attorney, but that's not true.

The first step is to get a grip on your emotions which means allowing yourself to feel them and to work on moving past them. Find a therapist or divorce support group, whatever you're more comfortable with.

But controlling your emotions is imperative!

During the divorce process, you will be asked to make decisions that will completely change your life at every turn, which would be an inopportune moment to completely fall apart.

If you have a safe place to express your feelings and cope with stress, you'll be able to handle the pressure of divorce decisions without having an emotional breakdown.

 

2. Educate yourself.

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Now you have to learn how to get a divorce and plan for the divorce process itself.

Find out what your options are, how the system works and what the process is really like. Figure out what lawyer you want to use or if you even want to go through a divorce lawyer in the first place.

The only way to make sure you don't mess yourself up is to know what to expect and what your choices are, so you can be sure to make the right decision.

 

3. Get your information together.

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Finally, the dreaded paperwork.

Before you even settle on how to get your divorce, start getting your paperwork together: tax returns, bank statements, marriage certificate, etc.

All of those documents are going to be needed in the proceedings and things will go much smoother — and faster! — if you already have them copied and organized.

 

Divorce is never easy, even if you know it's the right thing to do.

But making sure you're fully prepared is the best way to protect your sanity and avoid some unnecessary conflict during the divorce proeess. 

 

If you need a little help getting through your divorce in one piece, dealing with your soon-to-be Ex, or any other divorce and relationship challenges, our experts are here to help! Reach out to Karen for the support you need.

 

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