3 Scientific Reasons You Should Totally Have Sex With A Rebound Guy After A Breakup

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3 Scientific Ways Rebound Relationships Teach Us How To Let Go After A Breakup

Can't argue with science!

Rebound relationships have always fascinated me. Why do we often throw ourselves into the arms of someone we barely know after a breakup? And why do some of us enjoy going into relationships with people who are obviously still trying to figure out how to let go of their ex?

My early relationship with a guy I'll call "E" started that way. It actually overlapped somewhat with the end of my previous relationship (with a guy I'll call "M"), as we had already been flirting for a few weeks, but nothing happened with him until I was officially broken up.

But the day I did break up with my ex? Oh boy. Did the floodgates ever open...

Overall, I think getting involved with E just as I was exiting my relationship with M actually helped me move on, and it also made a better person.

So while rebound relationships get a bad rap, I believe they can be beneficial the right circumstances for at least these 3 reasons.

1. They can fulfill long-neglected needs.

In my case, this is the primary reason my time with E was such a positive experience. After nine years of being with a man who was GGG (good, giving and game) but not quite kinky enough for me, I could reconnect with my kinky, submissive self in a deep and meaningful way.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Mary C. Lamia states that “the new relationship can prove to have far greater worth than the previous relationship since it is through the comparison of need satisfaction that fulfillment is judged."

After entering into a new relationship, you may discover new things about yourself and your relationship needs, and be ready to enter a new long-term romance with wiser eyes. After leaving an unsatisfying relationship, you can get your fill of whatever was missing — i.e., romance, sex, kink, massages, googly eyes — and reconnect with the needs and identity you possessed long before things went bad.

 

Related: 3 Ways Smart Women Rebound After A Relationship Ends

 

2. They can help manage the pain of a breakup.

Breaking up is hard. It’s painful.

Quite literally.

Recent research has shown that after being dumped, the brain reacts the same way it does when we receive. physical pain.

According to an article in Gizmodo

"Two studies that looked at brain activity inside people who were deep in the throes of a breakup found that the reward regions weren’t the only systems lit up inside their brains. They also saw activity in brain regions that control distress and the response to physical pain. Specifically, the parts of the brain that collect pain sensations from the outside world were quiet, but the systems they tie to — the systems that control how the body reacts to pain — were busy telling the body that something awful was happening."

No wonder we tend to do stuff like drink too much, stupefy ourselves with buckets of chocolate cookie dough ice cream, or use other self-medicating ways to manage the pain.

Rebounding can be part of such medication. (And whoever says “you just need to ride it out” has never had any serious physical pain in their life.) All of the feel-good hormones that come with the early stages of a relationship counteract all the bad stuff going around in your brain telling your body to hurt.

So it’s pretty normal, and even beneficial, to seek out ways to reduce the pain. You might just come out the other side with fewer scars if you do.

 

Related: 14 Quotes That Profoundly Describe How Much Breakups SUCK

 

3. They can help you reconnect.

The loneliness and loss we feel at the end of a relationship can feel pretty damn unsurmountable. You feel disconnected from everything — your ex-partner, other humans, and mostly yourself.

Most normal humans crave connections. As a species, we wouldn’t survive without them. I know that suffering alone is just about the worst thing I can personally imagine. Without someone to talk to or to commiserate with, we can get lost in our own pain and misery and thereby make it worse.

One of the ways to recover from a breakup is to reestablish connections to the outside world, to other people and to yourself, too, if you've lost that connection. And just as dating someone new can help you fill up a need that went too long neglected, so too can it help you rebuild connections of trust, communication, friendship, and, maybe, love.

In fact, Dr. Lamia continues, “When a person loses a connection, it is through connecting that recovery takes place... People need connection, and moving on can help you get over what has to be left behind."

So rebound away!

Without my relationship with E to help me fulfill my needs for kink, sex needs and romantic connection with someone, I don’t think I’d be where I am today.

As someone who suffers from depression, it’s especially easy for me to get sucked into negative thinking and feelings of loss, pain, and meaninglessness, but E helped give my life continued meaning after I left a decade-long relationship. He gave me hope that I could find someone who could answer to my most important and pressing needs, and he connected me to the kink community and showed me possibilities around relationships and polyamory I would never have considered on my own.

Instead of the stereotypical empty, superficial relationship we often would expect, I got something deep, meaningful, and (let’s be honest) absolutely fun.

Because honestly, fun is what I needed after long years of no fun at all.

And you might just need some too...

This article was originally published at The Story Of A. Reprinted with permission from the author.