Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

To Find Your One True Soulmate, You FIRST Need To Know Your Personality Type

Love, Self

Here's how to find yours.

Some of us are attracted to people who share all the same interests. Others find that opposites attract.

In theory, there should be a "formula", a set of rules that will fit everyone in their quest for their soulmate.

Yet we see that some people come together like human magnets, their opposite personalities pulling them towards each other.

Others who are opposites come together like oil and water, always at war.

This conundrum is the very topic of our latest Expert video, which you can watch above.

Our group of big-name Experts — Helen Fisher, Rhoberta Shaler, Ross Rosenberg, and Marcie Telander — explain to YourTango Expert Senior VP Melanie Gorman the truth about how your personality type determines whether you are attracted to someone the same as you or totally opposite.

 

There are 4 basic personality types that affect how we think and behave, based on the chemicals in the brain:

1. Dopamine: risk takers, creative, energetic, spontaneous

2. Serotonin: traditional, conventional, rule followers, orderly, loyal

3. Testosterone: analytical, logical, driven, tough-minded, decisive

4. Estrogen: nurturing, verbal and people skills, intuitive, caretaker

 

According to a personality test conducted by Chemistry.com of 14 million people in over 40 countries, it seems that your personality type determines whether you're attracted to someone like you or someone totally different.

Both dopamine- and serotonin-based people are attracted to people like themselves. As a general rule, risk-takers stick with risk-takes and traditionalists stick with traditionalists.

Testosterone and estrogen based people, however, gravitate towards each other, needing the opposite of themselves to balance it all out.

So how can you use this information to know how to find your soulmate?

Easily.

Think of a relationship as a dance. One of you must lead the dance but the other must be able to follow.

We unconsciously try find a partner who will fit into our dance effortlessly —  someone who makes it seem like you've always been meant to dance with them. 

For some people, it means finding a carefree spontaneous person like themselves.

For others, it's finding someone who is the care-giver to your gift-taker.

At the end of the day, there is someone for everyone. Sometimes you just have to take a step back to really see who it is.

 

If you need help getting your spouse to accept your divorce, accepting your spouse's desire to divorce, or any other relationships problems, please visit the websites of  Helen, Rhoberta, Ross, and Marcie directly. They’re here to help.

 

 

Author
Expert

Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
Contributor