How To Know For SURE If You're A Narcissist (It's Okay If You Are)

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Being a narcissist is not ALL bad news.

Many of us suffer from some of the same behaviors as narcissists… at least some of the time. Some of us even more often than we’d like to admit.

In my article “What is a narcissist” I go through the psychology of a narcissist. In particular, I go through the sources that cause narcissism. Understanding these sources is important because if they apply to you…then you will be more at risk of being a narcissist.

They are also important because if they apply to you, they are also the KEY to overcoming your narcissism. Which really should be your goal if you want to live a healthy minded life.

 

 

What are the sources of narcissism?

In essence, here is the source of this type of behavior…

A narcissist exaggerates their self-worth to compensate for feelings of INADEQUACY. A narcissist creates a persona of strength to cover over a reality of:

  • Insecurity
  • Weakness
  • And vulnerability

Narcissists compensate for feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy by building a protective shell. If you feel you are a narcissist and want to overcome this …your energy should focus on exploring where these fears and feelings of inadequacy come from.

Rather than focusing your energy on strengthening the shell the best course of action is to look underneath. Even if there is ultimately no sure solution to the problems underneath, it is important that you come to terms with them to work towards personal balance.

 

But being a narcissist is not ALL bad news.

Being a narcissist may mean an exaggerated sense of self-worth but it is important to note that this sense of worth did not come from nothing. At least part of your sense of self-worth is based on true accomplishments and real success.

Drawing from this real foundation for self-esteem you can face your problems and address your inner wounds. You will come out complete and stronger than before, at least in real terms when compared to the persona you projected before.

It is very likely that you have an abundance of skills and have at times achieved real success. That's a good thing. I'm not trying to take that away from you. What is lacking is a bit of balance and a grounded sense of self-worth.

Confidence in and of itself is not a bad thing. Aim to maintain this air of confidence while addressing any internal shortcomings and you can build your sense of self-worth and self-confidence on a solid and balanced foundation. One that others can really admire… and not just superficially to keep the peace and keep you happy. 

 

 

This article was originally published at Relationship Psychology. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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