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6 Expert Tips On Sex, Intimacy, Affairs and Relationships You NEED To Hear

All the questions you were embarrassed to ask —​ answered!

You know those questions you've had that you were embarrassed to ask when it comes to your relationships?

The ones about your sex life as you get older or questioning your sexuality or about mismatched libidos in a long-term relationship?

In our latest Expert video, Expert love and sex coach Lewis Brown Griggs — of "Beyond Our Sight" fame — offers six pieces of advice to help you with whatever relationship challenges you're going through.

Here are our six favorite. Bet they'll help you as much as they helped us! 

 

1. Monogamy is a choice, but it is usually the best choice.

For some people, the idea of your relationship featuring multiple sexual partners might be an aphrodisiac. And if it works for you both, great!

But for most relationships, monogamy is the way to go.

In addition to not having to worry about sexually transmitted diseases as much as you would in a polyamorous relationship, it also allows for a closer kind of intimacy that only comes from having just one partner.

Monogamous relationships have a trust and honesty and intimacy that can't be met when one (or both) of you has more than one sexual partner.

 

2. Having mismatched libidos in your marriage is ok sometimes.

Amore Unscripted

When one of you wants sex and the other doesn't, go with the less-is-more scenario.

Meaning, whoever doesn't want sex should "win" and get their way.

You shouldn't meet this with resentment.

After all, do you really want to take something your partner doesn't want to give?

Instead, use the opportunity to keep the intimacy going, and spend time together watching a movie or talking.

It's only when the "once in a while" becomes "every night" that it's a big problem.

 

3. Honesty is the one thing you need to focus on fixing after an affair.

Right or wrong, the reality is that honesty was missing between you, in addition to whatever else was going on which caused one of you to cheat.

So if you and your partner have decided to give your relationship another try after an affair, start with that.

Wipe the slate clean, and start with a freshly honest relationship.

It is the ONLY way a relationship can even hope to survive after infidelity.

 

4. Yes, it is normal to let your partner go if they have a same-sex affair.

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When your partner cheats on you with the opposite sex, you can't help but wonder why.

Was there something I did wrong? Did he/she do something better than me?

You feel like you still have a shot at fighting for your relationship and saving it.

But when your partner cheats with a person of the same sex ... well it's obvious what they have that you don't.

It's something you just can't compete with, so many people feel like there isn't a point in trying. 

That doesn't mean this is the ONLY response, but know that you are normal if you feel this way after your husband or wife has a same-sex affair.

 

5. It is TOTALLY possible to maintain your relationship if you're beginning to question your sexuality.

The key, of course, is honesty.

If you're honest with yourself — and your partner — about what it is you want, you can work together on how you can best incorporate your fantasies and desires into your relationship.

If you say nothing and keep it all inside, you'll both just end up miserable.

 

6. Yes, sex changes when you get older.

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Okay, so there are erectile dysfunction and dryness, which we all know about. And there are pills and lubricants for that.

What most people don't think about is that this change in your sex life is also an opportunity for even greater intimacy.

Accept your body and accept your lover's body, and you'll find new ways to turn each other on, to make love and to just be close to each other.

Like a bottle of wine, your sex can get better as you age if you'll let it.

 

Lewis Brown Griggs is a Personal Relationship Coach in San Francisco. You can learn more about him and request a free coaching session via his Lewis Brown Griggs Personal Coaching page on Facebook.

 

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