Stop wasting your time.
1. You don't feel like you can be yourself
Your friends tell you you've changed. You are always watching what you say or how you act because your partner tends to get on your case or has been critical of you in the past. You just never feel completely relaxed around them, even after dating for a good amount of months.
If you can't be who you truly are with your significant other, it's time to think hard about what you are doing in a situation like this... and why. No one is worth this much sacrifice.
2. You're unhappy
While it's true that our partners aren't responsible for our happiness, they should certainly make our days a little brighter!
Someone who is dating the right person consistently enjoys the relationship and feels a general sense of happiness (arguments aside!). If you find yourself unhappy most of the time — and especially when you are with them — then this may be a sign that this isn't the best person for you.
3. They exhaust you
Instead of feeling energized after hanging out with your partner, you feel emotionally drained most of the time. They seem to always have something to complain about, or just have a negative outlook on life.
Either way, the person you choose to spend your life with should really lift you up rather than drag you down. And it shouldn't feel like "work" most of the time.
4. The friend factor
If you are with someone and don't really want to introduce them to your friends, this is not a good sign (and you should ask yourself why!). If you are with someone and they never bring you around their friends, it's another sign.
If your most trusted friends are expressing concern about your relationship, take heart. These people may be able to see things more objectively than you, so it's important to be open and hear what they have to say.
5. You never envision the future together
After a certain amount of time together, it is normal to start thinking about what the future might be like as a couple. If you have been with your partner for awhile and just don't see how it would ever work together down the line, it might be a good idea to evaluate why you are with this person and what you are really looking for.
6. You are like night and day
Compatibility is an essential ingredient for a happy and peaceful union, and if you and your partner have many fundamental differences, it may make things that much harder.
7. You're not excited to see or hear from them
She calls you... and you send it to voicemail. Or sometimes you actually avoid him. You realize that you feel completely ambivalent when you are around him. Many of us go through the motions and are so afraid to be alone that we stay in situations which aren't fulfilling.
Dating should be fun, exciting and heartwarming, not another chore. It's not always going to be sunshine and roses, but you should feel happy to see them most of the time.
8. You don't feel good about yourself
In addition to feeling happy, a person in a good relationship usually has a positive self-esteem. Sure, they will have some doubts and insecurities (who doesn't?), but the time they spend with their partner will make them feel better about themselves, not worse.
In contrast, if your partner exacerbates your self-doubts and undermines your confidence, it's time to stand up for yourself...and say see ya later!
9. The cons of staying together outweigh the pros
A cost-benefit analysis can actually be helpful in situations other than at the office. Sit down for a few minutes and write down the advantages of staying with your partner. Then list the disadvantages.
When you compare the lists, you will either find that the benefits outweigh any disadvantages, or that reasons to break up are more compelling than the ones to stay together.
This article was originally published at eHarmony. Reprinted with permission from the author.