Yes, guys can have "seller's regrets" about exes.
Most of the time, people will have at least one ex that looks back at the two of you and wonders “what if?” Chances are, you may have an ex who wants you back. You might not even know that they’re thinking about you that way, but it’s true. I know this because I’ve been there — as both a remorseful dumper and an ex who got away.
The problem with getting back together with an ex is manifold. First off, your ex may or may not actually want to get back with you. Secondly, if you do get back with them, it may not be a good idea. Thirdly, you also might have to explain things out to people. Last, if you do ask for them back, you may have to confront some of the terrible things you did to them.
Considering all the battles you’d have to fight in order to get back together, it’s easy to see why someone might be hesitant to even tell you that they’d give it another shot.
Wondering if your ex is thinking of you but too scared to talk to you? Here's how to know if your ex wants you back and that it’s not just wishful thinking.
1. His friends keep trying to approach you to talk about him.
This typically happens when his friends are seriously concerned about his mental health post-breakup. If he’s really acting out, there’s a good chance his friends will try to talk to you about it and see if there’s any chance you’ll return to him.
2. You notice you’re no longer blocked on his Facebook, and every status update is a sad post about heartbreak.
Ugh, this is so cringey, but we’ve all been there, right? This is the sheepish, shy way that guys typically use to make it known that he wants you back via the internet. After all, they can’t really talk about how they feel to your face, so they’re hoping you’ll see it via Facebook stalking.
3. Your ex keeps drunk-dialing you.
I had this happen with one ex, and it’s both comical and sad. When he was sober, he’d be dismissive and icy to me. When he was drunk, he’d be bawling over the phone telling me that he made a mistake. And then, in the morning, he’d be back to being cold again. Surprise! He later admitted he did want me back but was too proud to say anything.
4. He keeps bumping into you.
Machismo is a thing, and a lot of guys won’t feel happy about having to openly admit he screwed up. So, guys who have this toxic pride will often decide to be sneaky by giving you the opportunity to grovel first. They do it by positioning themselves near you and trying to look like they are happy as clams being solo. They’re hoping you’ll see them happy, then ask to get back with them.
Of course, it could also be accidental. The easiest way to tell between him missing you and legitimately not caring is simple. Check out how often he turns to look at you when your back is turned. If he keeps looking at you, you know it’s because he misses you.
5. He still has some of your stuff and won’t give it back to you without meeting in person.
Ah, yes. This is the old “bribe her with her own stuff so she can talk to you” trick. With this one, he might muster up the courage to ask you to come back to him, but he might also not. Who knows?
6. Every time he sees you, he gives you that “sad puppy” look.
You know the look I’m talking about. Guys always give that look when they realized they f*cked up and they don’t want you to be angry at them. If he’s doing this and the relationship is over, it’s usually a look of regret.
7. A lot of the things that you complained about seem to be disappearing.
Some guys don’t realize what they’ve been doing wrong until your butt has gone out the door. If you kept complaining about his lack of job and now he’s Mr. Career, it could be that he’s trying to work himself up to a point that he can be the guy you wanted him to be.
8. Or, he just went into a downward spiral.
Other guys, when really remorseful from a breakup, fall apart at the seams without a girl present in their lives. If he suddenly gains 50 pounds, starts drinking like a fish, or starts acting out, this may be a sign that he deeply regrets losing you. Oddly enough, this is also a sign you shouldn’t get back together with him.
9. He seemed to make a point of showing how happy his life is without you to you.
You know how people tend to overcompensate when they’re feeling really insecure about themselves? Yeah, if he seems to really emphasize how happy he is, or if his happiness seems “forced,” you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s missing you and hoping you’ll crawl back to him.
10. There’s been calls from his number that just keep hanging up when you reply.
This is also known as the “close but no cigar” move. He’s so close to calling you up, but at that very moment, he chickens out and hangs up. Just wait a little while longer, and he might actually come around.
11. Your friends have called you up to tell you he’s tried to ask about you.
Props to your friends for keeping you in the loop! Yes, if he’s doing this, he most likely wants you back in his life. But really, do you want to date a guy who’d go through your friends just to talk to you?
12. His family members have contacted you, begging you to return to him on his behalf.
This has happened to a good friend of mine and it was just as drama-filled as you’d believe it to be. It was a nightmare, but it definitely made a statement. If family members are getting involved, it’s probably because he was seriously torn up by the breakup.
13. You catch him going to places that are normally just your own haunts.
This is a big sign something’s up. When a guy goes places that you know are way more a “you” thing than a “him” thing, there’s often a reason for it. If you haven’t guessed, that reason is probably you. If not because he may run into you, then because it reminds him of you.
14. He’s trying to date girls that look or act exactly like you.
Truthfully, this isn’t always that strong an indicator. Though it could just be that he has a “type” he pursues, it also could be because those girls remind him of you. Use your gut feelings to judge this one.
15. He hasn’t dated anyone after you and it’s been a year or more.
If he’s still solo after all these years, he probably is still hung up on you. Oh well, maybe he should have worked harder to keep you when he had the chance, right?