5 Signs It's Time To Forgive Your Cheating Ex (Yes, Really)

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when to forgive cheater
Heartbreak

Does he really deserve you?

It's so hard to know when to forgive a cheater. 

As women, we're taught that when a man cheats on us, we're fools for standing by him or we're bitches for leaving him.

It's like we can't win! 

Sure, there are definitely cheaters who are repeat offenders. 

But then there are men who slip up and would do anything to earn back your love, trust, and respect. 

So how to do you know when to forgive a cheater?

Through the fog of anger and heartbreak, it can be damn near impossible to figure out if your man deserves a second chance. 

Where do you draw the line between weakness and the compromises that every couple in a long term relationship must eventually face? 

Here are 5 big indicators that cheaters aren't going to become offenders, they're just faulted humans who made a mistake and deserve another chance at love with you.

 

1. They're willing to give you all the space and time you need.

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When your partner has been caught cheating or confesses to cheating, you will probably eventually ask them for time and space. 

A cheater who feels remorse and sees a future with you will give you that space.

A cheater who feels guilty but isn't reformed won't listen. 

They will text you, call you, insist on seeing you, all to serve their own ego. 

This kind of cheater doesn't really want you back, they want you not to hate them, and that's very different. 

 

2. They're being totally, completely honest. Even if it hurts. 

When you catch a cheater out and confront them with proof of their infidelity, they can do one of two things.

One, they can lie, gaslight you, and try to make YOU feel crazy for catching them out in bad behavior. 

Or two, they can man up and say, "You're right, I cheated, I'm sorry." 

If a guy respects you enough to be honest when confronted with his own failings, he's a guy worth giving a second shot.

If he keeps lying to you, he doesn't respect you, and how can you expect to form a healthy relationship with a man who doesn't think you deserve the truth? 

 

3. They want to stay in your life, on your terms. 

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When you end things with a cheater, that's a tough a decision. 

If the cheater in question is serious about getting back together with you and earning your forgiveness, they are going to make an effort to stay in your life.

I don't mean in a creepy, stalkerish way. 

I mean, they will work to prove to you that they are your friend even if your genitals never touch again. 

Proving that they care about you as a person AND that they are willing to respect your boundaries is a sign that they might deserve your forgiveness and a second shot. 

 

4. Their explanation of why they did it shows signs of serious self-reflection.

Some cheaters never explain themselves. 

Why?

Because they don't think where they put their penis is any of your business.

Which is ridiculous. And disrespectful.

A cheater who deserves forgiveness will open up about everything. 

He'll be willing to explain his motivations, and if he can't, he'll agree that there are things about himself he needs to figure out.

Making himself vulnerable that way is a sign he might be worth forgiving. 

 

5. They're willing to play by your rules. 

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I'm not saying that you shouldn't work together to move past his cheating.

BUT. 

I do think that a man who has cheated needs to be willing to play by the rules his significant other sets if he wants to fix the relationship.

This might mean that for a while you need total transparency, like getting to read his texts, or having access to his location.

This isn't a long term solution or a permanent one, but if a man is willing to play by your rules after his affair, he is definitely worth giving another chance. 

 

Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
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