You paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
We’ve all seen people who, when coupled up, aren’t the best of partners. They have great partners, but they themselves seem to manage to be masterful at ruining a good thing.
In fact, they can be so good at it that they don’t realize what they’re doing wrong when they do it. That being said, most of us (including me) have ruined good relationships in the past. Here are the most common ways to ruin a relationship and why you need to stop it.
1. You're joined at the hip.
I’ve done this, and I totally understand that feeling of getting anxious that he’ll leave if you don’t stay with him every day. But staying joined at the hip isn’t going to help you realistically.
If anything, it may make him think you’re clingy and cause you to isolate yourself from the world. And when you don’t have anything to talk about but yourself and your spouse, you’re lame.
2. You forget your partner is a person.
You might not realize that this happens, but it happens with many couples. When I say that someone forgets their partner is a person, I mean that they stop remembering that their partner has needs and feelings.
You stopped remembering that they weren’t put on this earth to please you. Your partner is not a Prada bag to just flaunt around! Sadly, people who do this don’t realize how bad they are until they are alone again.
3. You don't say what's on your mind.
When we’re with someone we like, we often will bite our tongues to keep them happy, and if it’s about something like an opinion on that one pair of shoes you abhor, it’s fine. What isn’t fine is when you stop telling people when they’re doing something you hate and letting it just stew until you resent them.
It’s better to talk about things out in the open and just deal with it. Otherwise, you’re adding resentment to your love life and that will likely ruin a relationship.
4. You lie about who you are.
I’ve been this girl with the first relationship I ever had. I pretended to be this proper, prim girl who was into mainstream stuff just so I could get my first boyfriend. In reality, what ended up happening is that he expected me to be someone I’m not. Eventually, that lead to us breaking up because he didn’t like “what I was turning into.”
5. You always demand more.
When you first start out in a relationship, every little gesture they make is nice. Sometimes, they start adding more and more as “the bare minimum” they should do. Even the most generous, kind, and tolerant person will have a moment where they can’t give anymore and when they’ll feel too used to continue with you.
Having been one of the people who was used that way, I can honestly say I had no problems walking away when I did. Even when they asked me to get back together, I didn’t budge, primarily because they killed the love I had for them.
6. You don't trust each other.
If your partner has given you no reason to worry, then why wouldn’t you trust them? Regular accusations of cheating will always end up doing one of two things: It will make the person break up with you because it’s no use trying to convince you that they’re loyal, or they will end up cheating because they’ll figure they’re being punished for it anyway. If you can’t trust your partner, break up with them.
7. You let yourself go.
Is it really shallow that I’m saying this? Yes, but you know what? It’s true. Your attraction to a spouse can die if they turn into a gross slob. Unless you have a medical reason to be mellowed out with your appearance, you might want to keep up your looks.
8. You're extremely critical.
While you should voice concerns about the way your partner is treating you at times, there is a point where you’re just being mean. If you constantly critique their looks, their friends, and their lifestyle choices, they’ll end up resenting you.
If your partner really isn’t up to your idea of acceptable, you may want to just dump them rather than bully them into being what you want them to be. On a similar note, if you criticize them too much, don't be surprised if they leave, too.
9. You act like you're single.
In a relationship, both you and your partner’s needs have equal importance. If you constantly put yourself first, then you’re basically telling your partner that they are not worth prioritizing.
And, eventually, they will want to find someone who will make them a priority rather than someone who just follows along for the ride.
10. You take them for granted.
Even if your relationship is perfect right now, things can happen. A meteor could come in and squish them. A car accident could kill them. Don’t forget to treasure the moments you have with your partner, because you don’t know how long you have with them.