5 Ways To Let Go Of The Bullsh*t And Become More Confident In Bed

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Sex

Get your sexy right.

You might not guess it these days, but I haven't always been confident with my sexuality.

Oh sure, these days I might not hesitate to talk about blowjobs or my favorite sex positions, but that wasn't always the case.

It makes sense that being confident with my sexuality didn't come naturally.

When you have sex with another person, you're putting yourself in such an intensely vulnerable position.

It's natural that you'd try to protect yourself emotionally, and in the process feel less than totally confident and self-assured.

But here's a secret:

Everybody can be confident about their sexuality. 

Please allow me to share the 5 things that help me get my sexual groove thang back in working order. 

I have a feeling these things might help you to be come a sexually confident goddess. 

 

1. I realized it wasn't all about me 

It's really easy to hung up when you're having sex with someone.

All you have to do is start thinking about the weird thing your stomach does when you're on top, or the way your thigh skin ripples and BAM, sexual confidence gone.

While YOU might be hung up on all the ways your body isn't meeting your expectations, your partner absolutely isn't.

When I began to feel my confidence slipping while I was having sex, I tried to refocus that attention I was paying to myself to my partner and their pleasure. 

It didn't work 100% of the time (because I am a human being) but it worked enough to help me get my sexual confidence back. 

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2. I focused on the sensation 

One surefire key to losing your sexual confidence is by directing your attention to the wrong things.

It's natural for your mind to wander, or for you to start worry that your technique isn't up to par.

That's a slippery slope that can lead you to feeling inadequate, insecure and seriously unsexy.

Don't be fooled by this negative cognitive self-talk!

Instead, refocus. 

The easiest way to do this is to concentrate on the sensations of your sexual experience.

How does your skin feel being stroked that way, what does your partner's mouth feel like on yours?

I'm getting all steamed up just writing about this stuff, so you KNOW it will up your confidence in real-life sexy times. 

 

3. I started talking more 

If you feel like what you're doing to your partner during sex isn't having the effect you want it to have, of course you feel like your sexual confidence is in the gutter! 

I know exactly how that feels.

How did I beat it?

I started TALKING in bed.

Now I don't mean that I started using dirty talk (although that's good, too). What I mean is that I started checking in with my partner.

Asking how something feels, what they want more of, what they want less of, getting that specific instruction matters.

When you know how to please your partner it's almost impossible not to feel confident the next time you two have sex. 

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4. I learned more about my own body 

If you don't know what works for your body, sex can feel awkward.

That's true even if you love your partner and feel super connected to them.

If you haven't spent the time exploring your body and masturbating to learn what turns you on, then you're always going to feel a little unsure in bed. 

Spending time with your body doesn't just FEEL good, it's going to make you feel crazy confident! 

 

5. I realized what men want 

I used to spend so much time in bed worrying about how to make my man happy.

But guess what?

If is having sex with you, he's happy! 

That's it! 

Your partner just wants to be in the moment with you, feeling good.

You don't need to perform, you don't need to whip out some crazy new sex trick.

All you have to do is be present, communicate with him, and connect — and your sexual confidence will skyrocket. 

 

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