It's not illegal to change your mind.
It’s the stuff of every schmaltzy romantic movie ever: Normal, Relatable Gal With Singular Character Flaw is just about to walk down the aisle with Guy She’s Supposed to Marry and then Guy She Didn’t Expect shows up and rocks her world. He’s a great big metaphor for Who She REALLY Is and he’s here to illustrate just how she’s settling for a life that has been predetermined and who she could be if only she would listen to her heart for once in her life.
If only, for just this one time, she would take a chance, she wouldn’t just be choosing a new man or a new life — she’d be choosing an entirely different identity altogether. The identity of herself that would finally be rid whatever character flaw that has been glaring at her this whole feature length film but she was too blind to see until he came along! He’d fix all of that!
I don’t really need to say that this isn’t how it actually plays out in real life most of the time, right? Most of the time, in real life, the only guys offering to whisk you away on the brink of your nuptials are the ones who already had a shot and are freaking out at the idea that you’re no longer going to be on their back burner.
However, sometimes, a better option does actually throw a monkey wrench into your plans.
On one hand, I think that if you’re looking for a better option when you’re engaged, maybe you should take a minute and think about why you’re getting married in the first place. Engagement is usually the phase of a monogamous relationship where you delete all those late-night text numbers for real this time. On the other hand: Gurl, I get it.
In fact, I wouldn’t even be here if my Gran hadn’t changed her mind and married my Grandaddy. See wha-ha-happened was, she was appearing in a festival as a winner of some local beauty pageant and her escort stood her up, so she ran over to this group of soldiers who were in uniform and asked one of them to be her arm candy for the day.
My grandfather took one look at her and quickly agreed. To thank him for helping her out, she asked him to dinner that night, thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. Her fiancé worked out of state at the time and the girl needed a night out on the town. By the end of the day, she was no longer wearing her engagement ring. My grandparents were married for more than 50 years until his passing in 2000.
Nobody has answers about your life except you, and if the Right One comes along after you assumed you already found him, it’s not illegal to change your mind.
You might get grief from your family, but it’s way more stress, heartache, money, and embarrassment to go through with a wedding your heart isn’t actually in that you’re having to get annulled a few months later anyway. If you’ve found someone you deeply feel will make you happier than the one you’ve got, there’s no one holding you back from jumping ship and starting over.
If your instinct is right and you’re not just running because you’re afraid to commit, choosing the one who makes you happiest is a decision you’ll never regret. I’ve got albums full of my grandparents’ memories to prove it.