(Before I start getting into this, I want to apologize. This isn't going to be easy for guys to hear, but I think it has to be said because it's a sentiment I've run into a lot.)
I used to hold men in a lot higher regard until I started dating. With every date I went on, I lost more and more respect for men until I gave up on the dream of becoming a wife. The fact is that men have ruined dating for me, other women, and themselves.
Here's why so many women are losing respect for guys, summed up in a number of major points.
1. There's the nice guy issue.
I'll gladly blame pop culture for this one, because realistically, it is to blame. Somewhere along the way, movies, books, and even parents began to tell guys that they'll just end up with a girl or that they'll get the girl they want by "putting in the time."
After a while, guys just began to believe that they can force a girl to love them regardless of looks or anything else they offer. These guys were known as Nice Guys, and they're infamous for sex-zoning girls. Should a girl reject them, they whine or lash out in anger because the girl *gasp* doesn't act like a preprogrammed dating Sim!
After having been threatened, whined, and pity dated into a number of toxic relationships, I ended up giving up on the idea of an actually nice guy being out there for me. Oh, sure, I've heard guys tell me, "It's the wrong guys! I'm really nice! It's your fault for choosing them!" Yeah, that didn't help my stance.
2. Then, there's the issue of slutdom.
Yes, I slept with a bunch of people. This doesn't make me a bad person. So, why do guys treat me as a lesser being for doing the exact same f*cking thing that they do or want to do? Many men reek of hypocrisy, weakness, and insecurity. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to miss out on my fun.
3. Oh, then there's the double standards.
If a woman bails on her kid, she's a terrible human being. If a guy bails on a kid that he helped make, there's probably an explanation. I've heard people defend guys who abandoned their kids and baby mamas with lines like, "Oh, he's young, though!" Sorry, but where's the mother's excuses? I never heard one to date. Boys will be boys, right? They're young and weak, unlike the women, right?
While we're at it, why are women "shallow bitches" for wanting a man who has a job or good looks, while men who want a thin girl just "being guys"? Yeah, unfortunately, I'm a size 12. I'm fluffy and curvy. I had a lot to offer men — they just weren't interested when I actually gave a damn. Why? Because I was chubby. Yeah, I can't respect guys who care so much about my pants size.
4. And let's not forget f*ckboys.
Just when I thought there were some guys out there who could be good at relationships, they pulled f*ckboy sh*t. They'd string me along and use me as a "placeholder" until something better came along. I think that this was the final straw for me.
So often, I hear women sacrificing everything to raise kids they never wanted for men who don't give a sh*t about them. So often, I too have tried to get guys to treat me right, to commit, and to be decent human beings. Really, I only wanted love and a happy family, but that's just not in the cards.
Eventually, I stopped respecting men and started man-hating because they've shown that they don't deserve my time of day. I no longer even care to hear "not all men," because yes, it has been all men FOR ME.
Unfortunately for me, I no longer am interested in men because I lost the vast majority of respect that I had for the gender.
Even if there are good guys out there, I'm closed for business because I don't think I could believe them even if they had good intentions. And, since I can't respect men, any relationship is doomed from the start.
If I was very honest, I think it's better this way. Men got what they wanted, and so did I.