I don't need your sympathy.
Since puberty I have had big boobs.
What's more, I have had big, saggy boobs.
I'll never forget being ten and watching Braveheart for the first time. It was the first movie where I realized that my boobs weren't what was considered to be ideal by Hollywood.
Rather than wallow in self-loathing, I decided to learn everything I could about big boobs.
I was going to love myself if it meant reading the entire library.
I used the facts I learned as weapons. The causes of stretch marks on boobs aren't because the boob-haver is fat, it's because boobs grow rapidly. I was quick to point this out to the girls on my swim team who loved to dispute this fact. I secretly think they were just resentful that my massive rack slowed me down in our relay events.
I'm still advocating for women with big saggy boobs daily, on speaking on their behalf here 8 things we'd like you to know.
1. My big saggy boobs have always been this way.
My boobs are big and saggy. They have been that way since I first developed at the age of 9. It's got nothing to do with yo-yo dieting, or being overweight. I'm a naturally big boob-having saggy wonder. There was no time "before" my big boobs got saggy. There was only "before" I ever had big boobs at all.
2. Having big saggy boobs means I go through more deodorant than you do.
Want to know a secret about having big saggy boobs? They sweat. And not in the way your small doll boobs sweat. They ooze, they rain. So what do I do? I put deodorant under them before I go the gym or on hot summer days. I don't know it because I'm worried about how they smell, I'm doing it for my own comfort.
3. My big saggy boobs are great for storage.
We all know that clutch purses are the worst. Without a strap you are left to be keeping one eye on your purse at all times. When I go out on the town I can go out without a clutch or any purse at all because my big saggy boobs make for great storage. A lipstick and keys under one and my ID and a twenty under the other and I'm good for the evening.
4. My big saggy boobs require special maintenance.
Because my boobs are big and saggy I've got to keep an eye on them throughout the day. My bra needs adjusting, my big boobs need heaving, my underboobs need lotions and creams. Yes, having big boobs is great, but it's also more work than you might think.
5. My big saggy boobs are still very sensitive.
Just because my boobs are big and my boobs are saggy, that doesn't mean they are any less sensitive. In fact, I think that mine are ultra sensitive in all the right ways. When we're getting down, don't neglect them because they don't look like porn star boobs, they are just as ready for fun as the next pair of boobs.
6. My big saggy boobs are mine and mine alone.
Just because my big saggy boobs are a prominent part of my anatomy that does not give you the right to comment on them, honk them playfully, or rest your head upon them without my consent. I'm a fun, open, fun-loving person but I take protecting my body seriously. Don't assume it's a toy you can mess around with as you so desire.
7. My big saggy boobs don't make it impossible for me to work out.
Is it fun to do stuff like go running when you have big saggy boobs? No. But then again, is it EVER fun to go running? Absolutely not. Don't assume that the size of my boobs makes anything impossible for me. If I want to exercise (and yes, even run) I just put on a good sports bra and I do it, sag or no sag.
8. My big saggy boobs are perfect just the way they are.
Just because I have big saggy boobs with stretch marks on them that doesn't mean I ever intend on getting plastic surgery. Are they Hollywood perfect boobs? No. Would I have them any other way? Absolutely not. My boobs are a literal part of who I am. I would never do anything to change them.