If your first impression sucks, you probably do too.
By Tessa G.
The dating scene for folks who aren’t in their 20’s is a little weird, and it gets weirder as you enter your 40’s. With the dawn of the internet dating scene, there have been some success stories, but I can’t help but offer some tips to some of you guys who are trying to date online, with no success.
These are some of the top turn-offs that my friends and I had a heck of a laugh over while sharing a few glasses (okay, fine, bottles) of wine one night.
1. DON’T post a picture of yourself from your wedding.
My friends and I noticed that there is a large number of you guys who like to post a picture of yourself dressed in your wedding garb, with your ex-wife mostly (but not completely) cropped out. That not only makes us giggle just because, but it also makes us wonder how incredibly badly you must have aged since then that you refuse to post a recent photo of yourself!
2. DON’T post a selfie of yourself sitting buckled up in your car.
What’s that about? My girlfriends and I have come up with a few theories: a) you’re cheating on your significant other and it’s the only place you could think of to take your selfie, b) you completely lack creativity, or c) you think women will only be attracted to you if you look like you have a driver’s license.
Seriously. We don’t dream about that ‘guy’ who’s taking selfies while strapped into his seatbelt.
3. DON’T post a picture of yourself holding the biggest fish you ever caught in one hand, a beer in the other, and a ball cap on your head.
You might be super-proud of how much you drink, how big a fish you can catch, or that all-important ball cap, but we’re women. We usually look at a guy with a ball cap on and think ‘bald and insecure,’ see the beer in your hand and think ‘alcoholic’ and see the fish and go ‘ewwww!’
Try to think of what women want to see in your photo, not what YOU want to see in your photo.
4. DON’T respond if we’re clearly not a match.
If you’re interested in a girl, read her profile. If it says she’s a triathlete, and her idea of a perfect date is going for a long scenic bike ride together through the mountains, please, please don’t respond if you loathe the idea of physical activity, and your main interests are drinking, fishing, or watching storage locker tv marathons. It just won’t work out.
5. DON’T expect us to respond if we can’t see your face.
If you’re serious about finding a woman online, then for heaven’s sake, put a picture up! We were confused and blown away by how many guys had no profile picture up at all. It makes us wonder if you’re cheating on your significant other, a wanted fugitive, or you just don’t value yourself enough to show off what you’ve got. C’mon, guys, we need something to go on!
While we all had a laugh, some of the above-mentioned no-no’s are pretty serious turn-offs for most of us gals.
In all seriousness, if you really want to find a girl online that you could really hit it off with, take some time and put some effort into your profile. Spend a few bucks and get dressed up in something decent, have some pictures taken either by friends or a photographer, and be honest in your description (another big turn-off is guys who say they don’t smoke in their profiles and then show up reeking of tobacco).
If you do manage to link up with someone, please don’t spend the entire date telling us how sexy/gorgeous/pretty we are. Of course looks can be part of the package, but we’d rather know that you’re interested in who we are and what we like than in what we look like.
It’s okay to give a compliment or two, but to sit through an entire dinner listening to a guy tell us over and over again how sexy we look is awkward, intimidating, and can actually scare us off completely. Sure, we love a good compliment—but we’re more than just a pretty face, and we want to know that you’re not just looking for a night in the sack.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.