If He Doesn't Argue With You, He Doesn't Love You Anymore

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If He Doesn't Argue With You, He Doesn't Love You Anymore

If he won't argue, he's shutting down.

Most of us, whether we are willing to admit it or not, know when the end of a relationship is around the corner. The air around the couple is thick with unspoken words, resentment, or even just a complete lack of interest in their partners.


By the time this happens, there have already been at least one or two major blowouts, and the relationship is only one squabble away from a breakup. I like to call this phase of a relationship breakup the "Impending Doom" phase.

However, there's one small, subtle sign that most people miss prior to the "Impending Doom" phase of a relationship. It's a subtle sign that often masquerades as a positive thing. After all, on face value, not arguing seems like a sign that things are starting to get repaired, right? Not quite.

1. Not arguing is a sign of not communicating.


It's very possible to have an argument that doesn't involve tears, freakouts, or tension. After all, everyone needs to address issues in a relationship. If your needs aren't being met, you need to make your case. As long as the arguments don't involve yelling, screaming or piling up resentment, you're probably just communicating in a clear, concise way.

For example, something as simple as just arguing over where to eat dinner probably isn't hurting feelings, but it is helping your partner see your side of things.

When we stop trying to explain our side of things, or when we stop trying to tell people what we need from them, there's a problem. There's no way the other party can listen because no words are being spoken. If arguments were over sex or chores, the sudden quiet may make the partner think they're actually doing well in the relationship. However, it's actually quite the opposite.

2. That silence is your partner checking out of the relationship.


The problem with arguments disappearing is that it's a sign that your partner has given up on you. Because they knowyou're not going to listen to them, they stop talking. Because they know that things are just going to end up with you either talking down to them, disregarding them, or actually just not caring enough to change, they see no point in arguing. After all, it's not like they expect things to turn around.

The fact is that a partner who stops making effort to argue things with you is a partner who is already planning their way out. They're pulling away because they no longer want you to have the opportunity to further hurt them, steamroll them, or reject them.

In other words, they're basically pulling away emotionally so that they can gain the strength to leave. They are shutting down, and that's a sign that you're in line for a breakup.


A man who still feels like a relationship is worth fighting for will continue to fight. He'll do everything in his power to get you to listen up, wake up, and meet his needs while meeting yours, too.

If all attempts at arguing or nagging have stopped, it's pretty obvious he's stopped caring about the relationship's direction and you, too.



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