Be with someone who will go through hell in order to be with you.
If there's one thing I've noticed in my years of dating people, it's how many people treat dating like a strategy or a numbers game. It almost seems like people are coached to look for the best possible suitor and then stay with them until someone even better comes along.
There are examples of this all around us. If you don't believe me, take a look at tabloids or local gossip. I can't even name how many times I've heard of people dumping guys, then "upgrading" to a richer model. I also can't count how often I've heard of men dumping perfectly good wives for a younger, thinner version of them.
Call me jaded but dating lost its appeal once I realized how often people will just leave for a more prestigious partner. Why bother when you're just going to be cast aside, right?
There's going to have to be a point where you have to wonder how perfect you have to be in order to get someone who will actually stay with you. That's why I've decided to stop just randomly meeting people in hopes of finding love. Rather, I want to say that the person who I'd want to stay with will always be proud of me — even when I'm dressed in rags, no makeup on my face, and my career going to hell.
A man who's actually worth fighting for and worth sticking with will see me as a queen, even when sh*t isn't working my way. Why? Because he knows that with a little love and affection, I'll keep fighting until things work out.
Honestly, I think everyone should look for a partner who has that level of pride and love for them. It's the only real way to make sure that they won't bail when things get too good or too bad. But that, too, has obstacles that need to be addressed. Primarily, it's really hard to figure out whether someone's just pretending. Actions, I've found, speak louder than words.
The easiest way to determine whether a person is worth pursuing is seeing how much effort they put into keeping you. The truth is that if a person really gives a damn about you, they will do a lot to prove it to you.
They will move to be closer to you. They will move around their schedule to be with you. They will make every possible effort to make sure that your family approves of them.
In other words, they will go through hell in order to be with the person they want to be with.
I can't say that finding someone who will stay by your side is easy. What I can say, though, is that it's worth it.