Two steps forward.
In the heat of a breakup, all the problems with your relationship take center stage. His tendency to flirt with bartenders or the fact that he’s always on his phone are magnified times a thousand, and you have no idea how you put up with so much BS for so long.
After carrying the weight of responsibility for someone else’s happiness on my shoulders for so long, the freedom feels so good.
My world opens up to possibility and new adventures and self discovery, and I wonder why I waited so long to get a rid of a relationship that wasn't serving me.
But then the anger fades, and I start to get sad.
Because the not really funny thing about breakups is that the anger never lasts. Eventually you start to feel empathetic for the person you used to care so much about, and all you can seem to remember are the good times. And good times can be very, very dangerous.
It’s tempting at this stage in the heartbreak process to reach out.
It’s easy to convince yourself that you’ve made a huge mistake and run right back into the arms of your ex.
While in these moments you might feel weak and needy and like the only thing in the world that could ever make you happy is the person you just let go of, I urge you to pause. Before sending that text or making that call (that you’ll totally regret doing), I need you to breathe.
Remind yourself that these feelings are normal, and not a sign of a bad mistake, but of you taking steps forward to getting over it.
Looking back is a sign you’re not moving forward. You’re going to do it — and probably often at first — but each time you do, just take a moment to tell yourself that you’re doing the right thing.
That you’re on track to getting over him and moving on.
Remind yourself of all the good things you have going on right now, and how they are much more deserving of your focus than the past.
Time heals all wounds, and the more time you put between you and your ex, the more likely you are to move on. And once you start realizing that you haven’t thought about him or the breakup in awhile, then you know you’ve done it.