15 Totally Unnecessary Gifts For People Who Love, Love, LOVE Boobs

Photo: Etsy
gifts for boobs
Self, Sex


Ahoy, boob lovers

Whether you've got them, want them, or worship them, we can all agree that boobs are pretty darn awesome.

They are literally life-giving! Plus, boobs make some clothes look extra awesome. Not to mention the fact that our boobs are basically built-in flotation devices. 

Given all their greatness, it seems obvious that we should all do more every single day to celebrate boobs. And what better way than by going on a mini shopping spree buying only objects that celebrate the titties, be the big or itty bitty? 

Here are 15 of our favorite boob-tastic accessories for the boob-lover in your life — or your own boob-obsessed self. 

1. Boob earrings 


These bring a whole new mean to that old lyric "do you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier," and I love it. 

$17.43, Etsy

2. Boob ring dish 

There is something inherently tasteful about this simple dish with its striking blue curves. 

$12.00, Etsy

3. Boob necklace 

You can really have fun with this one. Someone asks if it is supposed to be boobs and you can scream, "PERVERT!" 

$18.00, Etsy

4. Wooden laser cut boob cuff links

For the Don Draper in your life, it doesn't get more awesome than these cufflinks. 

$20.00, Etsy

5. Big boob tunic t-shirt

CLASSIC! Channel your inner bro, and buy at least seven of these. Heck, they're on sale, right? 

$12.00, Etsy

6. No bra tee-shirt 

Say it loud, and say it proud: Bras are the worst! 

$18.12, Etsy

7. White, nude, polka-boob pillow

If you're worried about being too showy with your boob purchases, this hip modern pillow is the cure for all that ails you. 

$38.00, Etsy

8. Knitted, boob, cell phone sleeve 

Let's face it, we all get lonely. I've seen Her I know what's up. 

$22.00, Etsy

9. Custom boob mug and creamer

These are artsy, hipster perfection. Get it? A CREAMER! 

$20.00, Etsy

9. Cake boob poster 

If only bodies worked that way, amiright? 

$10.74, Etsy

10. Trio of boob soaps

Who knew that such darling soap could be so dirty? 

$18.59, Etsy 

11. Boob scarf

For when you're feeling like socially acceptable public fondling in the winter months. 

$29.99, Etsy

12. Boob chocolate sucker

Because the only thing better than sucking on boobs is sucking on chocolate boobs. 

$2.25, Etsy

13. Knitted boob hat 

Keep your head warm, and the people on the streets thoroughly entertained. 

$24.00, Etsy

14. Classy boob ring 

For the well-to-do boob lover this cultured pearl ring is a pricey but stunning homage to the breasticles. 

$300.00, Etsy

15. Boob earmuffs 

Perfect to show everyone at the rock show that just because you relish keeping your hearing that doesn't mean you aren't all titties all the time. 

$9.99, Stupid


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