If he does any of these 10 things, he may not be quite over your breakup.
You're human. The idea of someone missing you (even if you actively hate that person) is kind of appealing. I get it: You're the best.
However, unless they have been listening to Lady Antebellum on repeat while hammering away on bottle after bottle of Boon's Farm, most guys will at least buck up and pretend they don't miss their exes.
But alas, the XY chromosome, for all our Hemingway-esque stoicism, probably take breakups at the very least as hard as XXs. Confidentially, I'm not sure like AT ALL how people with Kleinfelter's take breakups, but I'm guessing they don't love them, either.
OK, maybe your intentions are pure. Maybe you do want to be friends with your ex but only under the condition that he's totally over you, lest you make it seem like there's a chance. Or maybe worse, he makes it seem like there's a chance he'll take YOU back. Yes, the horror.
At any rate, since finding evidence is easier than finding absence of evidence, here are 10 signs that your ex is not quite over you.
1. He's currently dating your doppelganger.
If he says he doesn't have a "type," he is lying.
2. You still share a Netflix account.
No man would continue that kind of intimate relationship over what amounts to the cost of an extra value meal if he wasn't holding a candle.
3. He tags himself in photos you've uploaded since the breakup.
Real talk, any guy looking at pictures on Facebook has motivations between wistful melancholy and stalking. Let me put it this way: those photos are being put to some kind of use and it's not a maudlin decoupage.
4. He's changed his tattoo of your name to something similar but painfully embarrassing.
This may only apply if you've recently broken up with Johnny Depp.
5. He writes poetry.
Maybe not all poets are trying to outrun a bad breakup, but the kind of pain that fuels a certain art seems to peter out when the hurtin' does.
6. He texts you his report card.
Sure, you can keep up with an ex, but if 100 percent of his texts involve how dope his life is, something Shakespeare something protest too much.
7. He'd be bent wildly out of shape if one of his friends started "talking" to you.
Or any other guy for that matter talking to you. He's probably OK with another guy talking to his homey.
8. He's suddenly VERY interested in one or more of your friends, you know... sex-wise.
It's possible he's just lonely for someone familiar. And nope, it's not. Not even a little.
9. It's 4 AM and he'd like to chat.
I mean, there are sometimes things that need to be said at 4 (or later). "Hi, how are you?" for instance. Let's not make a big deal out of it.
10. He's telling anyone and their first cousin how few f*cks he gives about your breakup.
I know people who don't give a fudge and almost all of those people are liars; some are hollow shells only mimicking human behavior, some are both.
Good news! Someone loves you. Bad news! You may have to go through the whole breakup process eleventy-five more times.