Positive spin on a yeast infection?
Everyone loves bread... well, unless they are on a gluten-free diet or watching their carbs. When Oprah did a recent Weight Watchers commercial, she went on and on about how much she loved bread. Maya Rudolph even did a hysterical parody of it.
Bread has been a significant part of history and religion. We have store-bought bread, Artisan bread, homemade bread. There are so many types of bread: whole wheat, rye, pumpernickel and sourdough, just to name just a few.
"Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy, burny fanny, I giggled to myself, 'Maybe I could make bread with that,'" Stavri wrote on her blog, Another Angry Woman. "And that turned into, 'Well, I've always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway,' then a, 'Fuck, would that even work?' And then I got curious, and the next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off of a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water."
Almost immediately, the internet went wild with people expressing their disgust at what she was attempting to do.
"So, it [using her own vaginal yeast in bread] seems to have generated rather a lot of disgust," she said. "Far more than I expected, to be perfectly honest. I'd expected perhaps the odd 'eww' and maybe even an 'I wouldn't eat that,' but not this — the level of outright horror, as though I'd dismembered a litter of puppies and was posting selfies with a selfie-stick while doing it."
So much for applauding someone for taking a highly annoying and itchy condition, and being creative and making a delicious homemade bread. It's not like she was the first person to use her vaginal yeast into a food product. One woman made yogurt using hers, and Toi Sennhauser made beer. Besides, yeast is yeast.
"The more moderate people who want to maintain their sense of outrage at this go for what I call the hygiene excuse: they declare it's disgusting because it's unsanitary. And here's the thing: that's not necessarily true," Stavri said. "It's almost certainly no more gross than regular sourdough starter. Making sourdough starter entails encouraging stuff that's present in the flour and just sort of floating around in the air in your kitchen and on your utensils to grow. That's what wild yeast is."
Stavri points out that candida albicans (vaginal yeast) isn't generally for eating, but that like all bread with yeast, once it's cooked it's not going to go about colonising your gut with yeast.
"It probably doesn't matter that my sourdough may or may not contain any actual vaginal yeast," she wrote. "The very idea of it seems to horrify people more than enough. I suppose it's a similar socially constructed disgust that leaves a whole bunch of people repulsed by the idea of licking a p*ssy. Even the mere idea of a tiny trace of p*ssy in a massive loaf of bread is sufficiently vile."
After baking the bread, which Stavri said smelled great, she ate it with relish.
"It tasted like a pretty damn nice sourdough bread. Not the tangiest sourdough I've ever eaten, but solidly tasty. After having a little bite, I ate a slice with butter. The bread was still slightly warm and the butter soaked in and it was absolutely heavenly," she said.
Trust me, when talking about a yeast infection, rarely is the word heavenly used.