Sometimes you have to let toxic friendships go.
Hi. I know I haven't spoken to you in years, but here's everything I wish I said the last time I saw you.
Our friendship began the way most beginnings do, innocent and fun. I had just moved to a new state and you were the first person that was kind to me. I wanted to be your friend because you knew EVERYONE.
You made me feel welcome. You introduced me to your family and suddenly your family was my family too. I went on your family vacations and you went on mine. I thought this was how it would always be. Best friends forever, naturally.
As we grew up and turned into teenagers, you became interested in things I was not yet ready to try. I could never say no to you though — I thought I owed you.
You took advantage of this and — from a certain point on — I was never really comfortable around you. It tore me apart inside.
I was always scared about what you would want to try next, but another part of me thought this was how it was supposed to be.
We were young. Teenagers are supposed to do dumb shit, right? You pushed me and I never pushed back. "Come on," "It will be fun," "I don't want to do this alone."
I can't say they were all bad times though.
One of my favorite memories of being best friends with you was that time your family took me to the beach for a week. They taught me how to go crabbing, we went swimming in a rainstorm, and on the last day we snuck out and went skinny dipping in the ocean.
Whenever I think of that last night I saw you when we were still best friends, I replace that memory with the ones from the beach because I don't want to cry. I'd rather remember the good time we had together than the bad.
I'm sorry for the way things ended between us. You didn't deserve that and I should have done the mature thing and told you why, but I chose instead to just walk away and ignore your calls.
At the time I couldn't face you and I knew if I didn't do it then I never would.
The next time I saw you was under better circumstances. We were graduating from high school. You were taking pictures with your family and they saw me and waved me over. They told me how they missed me being around. I wondered what explanation you had given them for this because I had never given you one.
The truth was that I had missed them too because your home used to be my home.
I want you to know that I think of you from time to time and hope you are doing well. I still like your pictures on Facebook and Instagram, even the ones with your new best friend in them.
I can see you have a new boyfriend. I hope he treats you better than the others and makes you happy.
I don't hate you, but I'm not sorry we're not best friends anymore.
Where ever life takes you, I wish you nothing but happiness and love.
All the best,
Your Ex-Best Friend